Joe’s wheeled into a semi-private room, where another patient is softly snoring away. They hook Joe up to the monitor, tell him to get some rest, and leave the room, which is very quiet, except for the steady beeping of 2 heart monitors. Joe is agitated in the first place. He’s never been in ICU before and has no idea what to expect. And the beeping is really getting on his nerves.
Soon, the older (75) man wakes up, introduces himself as Max, and has some friendly advice for Joe, since it’s his 3rd time in ICU: “Don’t let the beeping get to you. After a bit, you won’t notice it, but as long as you can hear it, you’re OK. Rest up and you’ll be outta here in 2-3 days max.”
This pep talk puts Joe’s mind at ease and he drifts off to a restful sleep, until later, he’s rudely jolted awake by a piercing screech, like a smoke alarm, while at the same time, the PA system broadcast “CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!”
Within seconds, the Code Team rushes into the room and surround Moe, delivering fierce chest compressions and defib shocks for the next 20 minutes, until they finally call it, cover Max with a sheet, and wheel him out of the room. Meanwhile, a terrified Joe is faking sleep while he’s watching the whole thing out of one eye. Joe has no idea what he has just witnessed, but exhausted, Joe finally falls into a fitful sleep.
Joe wakes up tired, but first thing, he wants to tell Max about the weird nightmare that he just had. When Joe looks over and sees that Max is gone, he realizes that it really happened and spends the next hour or so pondering it, until a new patient is wheeled into the room, in the spot where Max was. Joe watches as they hook up the new guy to his monitor, and then they leave the room.
The new guy asks Joe about the beeping heart monitors and how he can stand it, so Joe offers the same advice that Max gave him: “You’ll get used to it in no time, but as long as you can hear it, you’ll be OK. Get some rest, yada yada.”
Then Joe thinks for a minute: “Oh, one more thing about the monitor. Whatever you do, don’t fucking break it, or else they’ll come in here and beat the living shit out of you.”
Joke Poo: The Printer’s Curse
Gary, a graphic designer in his late 30s, is having a particularly stressful week. He’s behind on deadlines and the office printer is constantly jamming. Finally, after a particularly stubborn paper jam that required him to practically disassemble the machine, Gary throws his hands up in exasperation and is sent home for the rest of the day to cool down.
Gary’s wheeled into a semi-private room, where another colleague is softly snoring away. They tell him to get some rest, and leave the room, which is very quiet, except for the steady whirring and clicking of 2 printers down the hall. Gary is agitated in the first place. He’s never had a mental health day before and has no idea what to expect. And the printing is really getting on his nerves.
Soon, the older (50s) man wakes up, introduces himself as Ron, and has some friendly advice for Gary, since it’s his 3rd time on mental health leave: “Don’t let the printing get to you. After a bit, you won’t notice it, but as long as you can hear it, it’s working. Rest up and you’ll be outta here in a day or two max.”
This pep talk puts Gary’s mind at ease and he drifts off to a restful sleep, until later, he’s rudely jolted awake by a piercing shrieking, like a scanner being powered on, while at the same time, the PA system broadcast “Paper Jam! Paper Jam in Sector 7!”
Within seconds, the entire IT Team rushes into the room and surround Ron, delivering fierce paper reams and toner cartridges for the next 20 minutes, until they finally call it, cover Ron with a blue screen of death, and wheel him out of the room. Meanwhile, a terrified Gary is faking sleep while he’s watching the whole thing out of one eye. Gary has no idea what he has just witnessed, but exhausted, Gary finally falls into a fitful sleep.
Gary wakes up tired, but first thing, he wants to tell Ron about the weird nightmare that he just had. When Gary looks over and sees that Ron is gone, he realizes that it really happened and spends the next hour or so pondering it, until a new colleague is wheeled into the room, in the spot where Ron was. Gary watches as they tell him to get some rest, and then they leave the room.
The new guy asks Gary about the whirring and clicking printers down the hall and how he can stand it, so Gary offers the same advice that Ron gave him: “You’ll get used to it in no time, but as long as you can hear it, it’s working. Get some rest, yada yada.”
Then Gary thinks for a minute: “Oh, one more thing about the printers. Whatever you do, don’t fucking touch them, or else they’ll come in here and throw you into the recycling bin.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic nuggets we can extract.
Analysis:
- Setup: The joke sets up a classic “fish out of water” scenario with Joe in the unfamiliar and stressful environment of the ICU. The beeping monitors create a palpable sense of anxiety.
- Misdirection: The initial advice from Max is comforting, lulling Joe (and the audience) into a false sense of security.
- Twist: The Code Blue event is the punchline setup, creating a dark and surreal experience for Joe.
- Punchline: Joe’s altered advice to the new patient is the punchline. It’s funny because it’s unexpected, based on Joe’s misunderstanding and morbid interpretation of the previous events. He’s drawing the wrong conclusions.
- Key Elements: Fear of the unknown, medical jargon, the fragility of life, the irony of well-intentioned advice, and the contrast between patient anxiety and the detached professionalism of the medical staff.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the “beeping monitor” aspect, and how patients interpret it.
Amusing “Did You Know” / Observation:
- Did you know: Heart monitors beep because they’re wired to be melodramatic. They couldn’t just gently flash an alert like a polite microwave; they need to audition for a guest role in a hospital drama. A flatline sounds like a dial-up modem failing.
- Observation: Hospitals should offer a “white noise” option for heart monitors. Imagine a calming rain soundscape instead of constant beeping. Patients could choose from “Gentle Precipitation,” “Thunderstorm Serenity,” or “Heavy Metal Flatline Simulator” for the truly cynical.
New Joke (Playing on the same themes):
A man is lying in his hospital bed. His doctor approaches with a concerned look. “I have good news and bad news,” the doctor says. “The good news is, your heart monitor is working perfectly!”
“Oh, thank goodness!” the patient replies. “What’s the bad news?”
“Well,” the doctor says, “it’s playing ‘Highway to Hell’ on repeat… and it’s starting to skip.”
Why this works:
- It takes the familiar image of the heart monitor and injects absurdity.
- The “Highway to Hell” reference is unexpected and creates a dark comedic image.
- The “skipping” punchline builds on the anxiety about the monitor malfunctioning. It’s both morbid and funny. It also makes the assumption the man is going to die.
Hopefully, these comedic offshoots capture the spirit of the original joke while adding a few extra layers of humor!