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A traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn’t look too great herself.

Posted on September 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

Deciding not to take any chances, the salesman orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The salesman says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the salesman says, "Cancel the hot dog."

Joke Poo: The Used Car Lot

A meticulous engineer walks onto a used car lot known for its shady deals. The salesman, sporting a comb-over and a polyester suit, greets him with a greasy smile.

Determined to avoid getting ripped off, the engineer examines two sedans and a pickup truck with painstaking detail.

The salesman returns a few minutes later, awkwardly clutching the sedans’ keys between his thighs.

The engineer asks, “Why are the keys between your thighs?”

The salesman replies, “I’m keeping them warm!”

And the engineer says, “Forget the truck.”

Alright, let’s dissect this “diner delicacy” joke.

Key Elements & Humor Breakdown:

  1. Setting: A grungy diner. This sets the expectation of questionable hygiene and standards.
  2. Character 1: The traveling salesman. He’s typically portrayed as discerning (needs to be on top of his game) and possibly having to eat in places of dubious quality.
  3. Character 2: The “not too great” waitress. Her appearance reinforces the diner’s “grungy” vibe and implies a lack of concern for presentation.
  4. Premise: The salesman, taking precautions, orders multiple items. This establishes a cautious (but hungry) approach.
  5. The Absurdity: The waitress delivers the hamburgers under her arms, an unsanitary and frankly, bizarre method of temperature control.
  6. Punchline: “Cancel the hot dog.” This is the payoff, implying the salesman’s tolerance for risk has a limit. He’s now assuming the worst about the hot dog’s preparation. It also provides a humorous implication that the hot dog’s preparation is even worse than hamburger-under-the-arm delivery!

Humor Enrichment:

Let’s use facts about food handling and hygiene to create some new humor.

New Joke:

A food inspector walks into a diner. He asks the waitress, “What’s your policy on the ‘Five-Second Rule’ here?”

The waitress replies, “Oh, we’re very strict. Anything that hits the floor stays there for at least a week to develop character.”

Witty Observation:

“You know a diner is truly authentic when you can taste a faint hint of desperation in the coffee.”

Amusing “Did You Know?”:

Did you know the USDA recommends cooking hamburgers to an internal temperature of 160°F? I bet that’s exactly the temperature of those hamburgers right now after spending some quality time under that waitress’s arms.

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