He was worried most about his grandmother, so he approached her in the kitchen.
"Grandma, I, uh, have to tell you something."
"Yes, sweety?"
"I, uh, I'm gay."
"Gay?" His heart stopped. "Does that mean you put men's things in your mouth?"
"Grandma!!!!"
"Well??"
Mortified, he muttered sheepishly, "I, uh, yeah?"
Whack! The wooden spoon found its mark. "Don't you EVER," she sternly replied, "complain about my cooking again."
(I last (and first) posted this three years ago, but since I haven't seen anyone else repost, I thought I'd let a new group of people read it.)
Joke Poo: The Software Update
A nervous coder decided it was time to roll out a major software update to his users. He was most concerned about his grandfather, a technophobe who barely knew how to turn on his computer. He approached him in the living room.
"Grandpa, I, uh, need to install something on your computer."
"Yes, sonny?"
"It’s a big update. Uh, it’s called… ‘Gay’."
"Gay?" His heart sank. "Does that mean it will make the computer… sing?"
"Grandpa! What? No!"
"Well??"
Embarrassed, he mumbled, "Well, technically, yes. It does add some new sound features…"
Whack! The newspaper found its mark. "Don’t you EVER," he bellowed, "let it AUTO-PLAY any of that musical garbage again!"
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then add some comedic sprinkles.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A young man comes out to his grandmother, fearing her reaction.
- Key Elements:
- Coming Out: The act of revealing a previously hidden aspect of oneself, in this case, sexual orientation.
- Grandmother: A figure often associated with tradition, generational differences, and sometimes, innocent misunderstanding.
- Misinterpretation: The grandmother’s utterly incorrect (and hilarious) understanding of what being "gay" means. She jumps to a very specific and quite…vivid conclusion.
- Wooden Spoon: A classic symbol of old-school discipline and often, home cooking.
- Punchline: The grandmother’s redirection of the "news" into a complaint about the grandson’s critiques of her cooking, followed by a whack with the spoon. The joke derives its humour from the unexpectedness and the subversion of the expected coming-out narrative.
Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Attempt:
Let’s focus on the Misinterpretation and the Wooden Spoon. Here’s a "Did You Know" style observation that could be humorous in the same vein:
"Did you know: The humble wooden spoon, often wielded by grandmothers around the world, has a rich history? Historians have found evidence that the ‘whack’ was originally used in Ancient Rome, not as a form of punishment, but as a food-tasting technique. A skilled gladiator chef could determine the doneness of a roast by the resonance it produced when struck with a specific type of olivewood spoon. Supposedly, the higher the pitch, the more well-done! Though, sometimes, the gladiator’s feedback on the chef’s cooking was, shall we say, spooneristically expressed."
New Joke Inspired by the Original and the "Did You Know":
A young man, fresh from culinary school, decided to try his hand at critiquing his grandmother’s famous meatloaf.
"Grandma," he said, "with all due respect, the maillard reaction is uneven, the seasoning is muddled, and frankly, the texture is reminiscent of something I’d find fermenting in a Roman sewer. It’s got to go!"
Grandma paused, grabbed her trusty wooden spoon, and gave him a sharp rap on the knuckles. "Well, maybe that’s just your flavor preference! I’m not saying the guy who came out to me earlier today should put men’s things in his mouth. I’m not gonna have you telling the family you don’t like it after you put it in your mouth! This meatloaf has been pleasing generations since before you could boil an egg, and I won’t hear another word against it, or you’ll be eating it with a spoon yourself. From the floor."