After God created Adam, Adam looks around and sees that all the animals are in pairs.
He turns to God and says, “God? All the animals have a mate. Where is my mate?”
God says to Adam, “Lay down and take a nap. When you wake up, you will have a mate.”
So Adam does as God says and lays down to sleep. Later, when Adam wakes up, he looks around and sees a vision of beauty. Excited, he exclaims,” Oh thank you, thank you God!”
God, seeing Adam ie too excited to actually do anything except stand there gazing on the woman he created for Adam says, “Adam, this is Lilith. Lilith, this is Adam.”
Again, Adam thanks God profusely then asks, “ Um, so what do we do?”
God then answers with, “Put your arms around her and see how you feel.”
He does and I s nearly jumping up and down, he’s that excited. “God, now what do we do?”
God then says,”Put your lips to hers and see what happens.”
Adam starts with a little peck on the lips but soon it leads to real kissing. Now Adam is practically vibrating. He asks God again,”What do we do now?”
God say to Adam, “Take Lilith around those bushes and lay down with her and see what happens “.
About a minute later, Adam returns to the clearing looking clearly confused. He asks, “God, what’s a headache?”
At which point my grandmother would pipe up and say, “That’s why Eve was the perfect woman!”
Joke Poo: The IT Support Ticket
After Bill Gates released Windows 1.0, he noticed all the other operating systems were stable and efficient.
He turned to his lead developer and said, “Steve? All the other OSes have decent uptime. Where’s our stability?”
Steve said to Bill, “Take a break, Bill. Implement a new feature. When you come back, you’ll have stability.”
So Bill does as Steve says and implements Solitaire. Later, when Bill returns, he sees a glorious blue screen with a cryptic error message. Excited, he exclaims, “Oh, thank you, thank you, Steve!”
Steve, seeing Bill is too excited to actually do anything except stare blankly at the screen, says, “Bill, that’s the BSOD. BSOD, this is Bill.”
Again, Bill thanks Steve profusely then asks, “Um, so what do we do?”
Steve then answers with, “Click ‘OK’ and see what happens.”
Bill does and it’s nearly crashing all the processes, he’s that excited. “Steve, now what do we do?”
Steve then says, “Reboot the system and see what happens.”
About a minute later, Bill returns to the room looking completely bewildered. He asks, “Steve, what’s a registry corruption?”
At which point my grandmother would pipe up and say, “That’s why MS-DOS was the perfect OS!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then cook up some fresh humor from its ingredients.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: The joke is a retelling of the Adam and Eve creation story, with Lilith (a figure from Jewish folklore said to be Adam’s first wife) initially being created instead of Eve.
- Setup: God gives Adam instructions on interacting with Lilith. Each instruction leads to escalating excitement, culminating in intimacy.
- Punchline: Adam returns confused, asking about a headache, implying a negative experience during intimacy with Lilith. This is juxtaposed with the grandmother’s punchline suggesting that Eve was better because she wouldn’t have caused such an issue.
- Humor Source:
- Incongruity: The expectation of a blissful first sexual encounter is subverted by Adam’s confusion and apparent displeasure.
- Sexual Innuendo: The joke relies heavily on suggestive language about intimacy without being overtly graphic.
- Stereotype: The grandmother’s line plays on a stereotypical view of women and relationships (that headaches are an excuse)
- Cultural Reference: Relies on the audience’s knowledge of the Adam and Eve story, and possibly the Lilith mythology.
Key Elements to Exploit:
- Lilith: Her role as a rebellious or independent figure in Jewish folklore.
- Headache: The tired trope that women use headaches as an excuse to avoid intimacy.
- Adam’s Naivety: His innocent questions and eagerness to follow God’s instructions.
- God’s Instructions: The vaguely suggestive nature of God’s instructions.
New Humor Creation:
Option 1: Did You Know? (Playing on Lilith’s Independence)
“Did you know that Lilith, according to some legends, left Adam because she refused to be subservient during… ahem… ‘laying down amongst the bushes’? Apparently, the patriarchy started literally in Paradise. So, technically, ‘headache’ could have been Adam’s euphemism for ‘existential crisis of male dominance.'”
Option 2: God’s Revised Creation Manual (New Joke Structure)
God, looking over the newly printed “Human Relationship Guide, v2.0,” sighs. “Okay, people are still confused. Note to self: Instead of ‘Lay down with her and see what happens,’ change it to ‘Clearly communicate expectations, ensure enthusiastic consent, and remember foreplay is your friend.’ Also, need to add a section on ‘Understanding the female orgasm’ because, apparently, that was not ‘self-explanatory.'”
Option 3: Adam’s Online Review (Witty Observation)
Adam: 1 star. “The user manual was vague, the product wasn’t pre-lubricated, and the tech support was nonexistent. Seriously, a headache right off the bat? Plus, Lilith kept complaining about ‘patriarchal expectations’ and ‘lack of female pleasure representation.’ Returning for a refund. Hoping v2.0 (Eve) has better compatibility.”
Why these work:
- Option 1 uses factual information about Lilith to reframe the punchline. It’s funny because it adds a layer of social commentary to the biblical story.
- Option 2 humorously modernizes God’s instructions, contrasting the original’s vagueness with contemporary relationship advice. The humor comes from the anachronistic juxtaposition.
- Option 3 takes a modern meme format (online review) and applies it to the ancient story, creating humor through absurdity and relatable grievances.
These approaches attempt to amplify the existing humor by playing off the original elements in unexpected ways. The goal is not just to be funny, but to enrich the joke by adding layers of meaning or commentary.