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Tom Swifty: “I’m gonna get revenge on the mad scientist who turned me into a horse”

Posted on September 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tom said, balefully.

Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the Tom Swifty joke you provided, titled “Joke Poo”:

Joke Poo: “I Need to Unclog This Drain!”

“I’m going to need a really, really long poop knife,” Tom gurgled, drainfully.

Okay, let’s analyze the Tom Swifty:

Original Joke Breakdown:

  • Structure: A Tom Swifty combines a spoken phrase with an adverb that puns on the phrase’s meaning.
  • Phrase: “I’m gonna get revenge on the mad scientist who turned me into a horse”
  • Adverb: “Balefully.”
  • Pun: The word “balefully” sounds like “bale-fully” (as in a bale of hay), cleverly hinting at the speaker’s unfortunate equine transformation. The humor arises from the absurdity of a horse contemplating revenge with a hay-related pun.

Key Elements:

  • Transformation: A human turned into a horse by a mad scientist. (Mad science, anthropomorphism, body horror – comedic version)
  • Revenge: A desire for retribution. (Revenge is a dish best served cold…or, in this case, with alfalfa.)
  • Equine Condition: The inherent limitations and associations of being a horse (hay, stables, neighing, etc.)
  • Tom Swifty Format: The punning adverb.

Humor Enrichment & New Joke/Observation:

Let’s leverage the “transformation” and “equine condition” aspects, mixed with a dash of scientific fact and absurdism:

New Joke:

Tom Swifty: “I’m so disappointed I can only see shades of yellow and blue,” Tom said dichromatically.

Comedic Analysis of the New Joke:

  • Phrase: “I’m so disappointed I can only see shades of yellow and blue”
  • Adverb: “Dichromatically”
  • Pun: Horses are dichromatic, meaning they see the world in a limited range of colors, primarily yellows and blues. Tom’s complaint about his vision is delivered in an adverb that references this biological fact.
  • Humor: It’s funny because it grounds the fantastical transformation in a real, albeit altered, biological reality. It highlights a very specific and mundane consequence of being a horse, and ties it back to the theme of disgruntlement established in the original Tom Swifty.

Bonus: An Amusing ‘Did You Know’

Did you know that while horses can’t see red and green very well, they can see almost 360 degrees around them? So, even though Tom is balefully planning his revenge and can’t distinguish a ripe tomato from a Granny Smith apple, he’s got a pretty good chance of seeing the mad scientist coming! He just might struggle to pick the right weapon to use…a bale of hay seems less threatening than a banana when trying to exact revenge.

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