Fellow shows up at the local dry cleaner's, looking somewhat sheepish.
"I'm really sorry to bother you with this," he says, "but I was cleaning out my closet and I found this old ticket for a suit I brought in to be cleaned five years ago! It must have fallen out of my pocket and it has been sitting in the back of my closet gathering dust since then! Would you by any chance still have the suit?"
The dry cleaner looks at the ticket and says he will go to the back of the shop to look.
Fellow hears the dry cleaner rummaging around in the back for about twenty minutes.
Finally, the dry cleaner emerges, covered in dust, but with a triumphant smile on his face.
"You won't believe it," says the dry cleaner, "but I have good news for you!"
"Oh my goodness!" says the fellow. "You mean you actually found it?"
The dry cleaner responds: "It'll be ready next Tuesday!"
(PS: my late dad was a dry cleaner so I have always been fond of this one.)
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, titled:
Joke Poo: The Spaceport Shuttle
A nervous alien walks into the local spaceport shuttle terminal, looking utterly flustered.
“I am deeply apologetic for this imposition,” he says, “but I was organizing my cargo hold and discovered this ancient boarding pass for a shuttle flight I booked twenty stellar cycles ago! It must have slipped through a temporal rift in my ship and has been floating in cryogenic storage ever since! Would you by any chance still have the shuttle ready to board?”
The spaceport attendant scans the ancient pass and says they will check the launch bay.
The alien hears sounds of frantic activity and panicked murmurs coming from the launch bay for what feels like an eternity.
Finally, the attendant reappears, covered in engine grease, antennae drooping with exhaustion, but with a strained, triumphant chirp.
“You are not going to believe this,” says the attendant, “but I have good news for you!”
“By the moons of Xylo!” says the alien, “You mean you actually found it? Is it ready to launch?”
The attendant responds: “It’ll be ready to launch as soon as we find the pilot, the mechanic and the passengers who booked this flight!”
Explanation of Changes:
- Setting: Changed from a dry cleaner to a spaceport shuttle terminal, adding a futuristic/sci-fi element.
- Time Scale: Increased the time elapsed dramatically (5 years to 20 stellar cycles) to amplify the absurdity of the situation.
- Character: Changed from a ‘sheepish man’ to a ‘nervous alien’
- Core Element Riff: The core assumption of having the item/service “ready” is preserved. However, instead of implying slow service, the joke focuses on the extreme impracticality and impossible nature of a shuttle being ready after such a long time, with the added joke of all the people who booked the flight being missing.
Alright, let’s break down this dry cleaning joke:
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Man asks if a suit from 5 years ago is still around based on an old ticket.
- Premise: The long rummaging and triumphant smile lead us to expect the suit was found.
- Punchline: The suit hasn’t been found, but it WILL be ready next Tuesday. The humor lies in the absurdity of the delay and the dry cleaner’s obliviousness to the extreme length of time. The joke plays on the typical dry cleaning timeframe, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree. The anticipation of “good news” is subverted with the prolonged wait.
Key Elements:
- Time: The extremely long time elapsed.
- Service Industry Delay: The common (and sometimes frustrating) experience of waiting for services to be completed.
- Anticlimax: The setup leads to an expectation that is delightfully unmet.
- Dry Cleaner Character: The dry cleaner is portrayed as both diligent (searching) and oblivious (to the implications of the wait).
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s use these elements to create something new:
Approach 1: The Did You Know?
“Did you know that professional dry cleaning, despite its name, almost never actually uses dry processes? Instead, they use solvents like perchloroethylene (aka “perc”) – a chemical that’s so persistent, it probably explains why that suit your granddad dropped off in 1972 is still waiting for pickup at the local cleaners… next Tuesday, allegedly.”
Why this works:
- Links a real-world fact (dry cleaning is solvent-based, not water-based) to the joke’s core element (absurd delay).
- The ‘perc’ information provides a believable but still amusing reason for a backlog.
Approach 2: The Witty Observation
“I’ve started judging restaurants by the number of dust bunnies under their tables. Any more than you’d find at a dry cleaner who’s been ‘rummaging for a lost garment’ for the past decade? Red flag. That’s a clear signal that the special will be ready next Tuesday…of 2035.”
Why this works:
- It takes the dusty element from the original and applies it to a new scenario (restaurants).
- It uses the joke’s language (“rummaging for a lost garment”, “next Tuesday”) to connect to the original.
Approach 3: The Alternate Ending
Original joke ends with: “It’ll be ready next Tuesday!”
“It’ll be ready next Tuesday. And just so you know there’s a $79 late pick up charge… per year.”
Why this works:
- This is a continuation of the original jokes concept, escalating the humor by compounding the absurd wait with an even more absurd fee.
I hope these additions add some comedic color to the original joke!