After the movie, Stalin says to Beria, "I liked the movie, but there is one nuance. The actor had the same mustache as mine. Shoot him"
Beria says, "But, Comrade Stalin, perhaps Comrade Actor should shave his mustache."
"Good idea," says Stalin. "First shave, then shoot."
Joke Poo: Bezos and Musk Watch Rockets
Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are watching a rocket launch on TV.
After the launch, Bezos says to Musk, “I liked the launch, but there is one nuance. The rocket had a similar paint job as mine. Sue them.”
Musk says, “But, Jeff, perhaps they should just change the paint.”
“Good idea,” says Bezos. “First sue, then repaint theirs as ours.”
Okay, let’s break down this dark, darkly humorous Stalin joke.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Theme: Absolute power, paranoia, and the absurd logic of a totalitarian regime.
- Key Elements:
- Stalin: The epitome of ruthless dictatorship.
- Beria: Head of the NKVD (Soviet secret police), representing fear and obedience.
- The Mustache: A visual symbol of Stalin’s identity and ego. The threat to his power is perceived as a threat to his image.
- The Absurdity: The disproportionate reaction (execution) to a minor perceived offense (having a similar mustache) and the twisted logic of improving the execution with a shave.
- Humor Type: Dark humor, political satire, and a hint of ironic wit.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Let’s focus on the mustache aspect, because it’s ripe for historical embellishment.
Fun Fact: Stalin’s mustache, while iconic, wasn’t exactly “natural.” He actually styled it meticulously. Accounts suggest he used pomade and even a special comb to achieve its signature shape. He was remarkably vain for someone supposedly unconcerned with bourgeois affectations!
New Joke Idea (building on the fact):
A panicked historian rushes into Stalin’s office. “Comrade Stalin! I’ve discovered documents suggesting that young Stalin experimented with other mustache styles! A pencil mustache, a Fu Manchu… even, shudders… a handlebar!”
Stalin raises an eyebrow. “And?”
The historian trembles. “Well, Comrade, what do we do with these alternative mustaches? Should we… rewrite history? Destroy the evidence?”
Stalin strokes his iconic mustache thoughtfully. “No, no. Archive them. Label them ‘Bourgeois Deviations: Mustaches of Error.’ But make sure to crop all the photos so that only the mustache is visible. Then… execute the barber.”
Beria, nearby, begins to write. “Yes, Comrade Stalin. And should the barber be shaved first?”
Stalin pauses. “No. This time… curl him first.”
Witty Observation:
“You know, Stalin’s mustache probably had more individual styling appointments than the average Soviet citizen had dental checkups.”
Amusing “Did You Know?”:
“Did you know that some historians theorize that Stalin’s paranoia stemmed from a childhood bout with smallpox that left him with facial scars? He may have grown the mustache, in part, to mask those scars and project an image of strength and authority. So, in a way, the mustache was a weapon of mass…perception.”
These are all designed to play on the original joke’s themes of Stalin’s vanity, his paranoia, and the warped logic of his regime, using the detail of the mustache as a focal point. The aim is to amplify the dark humor through historical trivia and even more absurdity.