So Bob makes an appointment and goes to see this "alternative doctor", Dr Wang.
After introducing himself the doctor asks the man to produce a urine sample.
Bob asks him "but I haven't even told you what's wrong" but Dr Wang insists.
So afterwards he hands the sample to a nurse, who hands it to Dr Wang.
He looks it, opens the lid and takes a sniff…. "you have tennis elbow".
Bob, a little taken a back takes the doctors advice and starts exercising it and using ice.
Slightly annoyed that this guy must have made a guess, he makes another appointment but this time asks if he can return with a sample.
Bob goes home, gets his wife to pee in it, his teenage daughter, his dog and then jerks off into it.
So, he returns the sample. Dr Wang again takes the sample, takes a sniff and pauses…. sniffs again….. and says
"Your wife is going thru menopause, your daughter is pregnant, your dog needs to drink more water and if you'd stop jerking off so much you wouldn't have tennis elbow"
Joke Poo: The Wine Snob Sommelier
This woman’s had a persistent cough, and her usual pulmonologist is at a conference. So, her sister recommends this “holistic” healer she knows, but warns that she’s a bit “out there.”
So, Sarah makes an appointment and goes to see this “holistic healer,” Madam Evangeline.
After introducing herself, the Madam asks Sarah to spit into a wine glass. Sarah asks her, “But I haven’t even told you why I’m here!” But Madam Evangeline insists.
Sarah complies, spitting into the glass. The Madam takes the glass, swirls the spittle, inhales deeply… “You have a smoker’s cough.”
Sarah, slightly annoyed that this woman must be faking it, makes another appointment but this time decides to mess with her. Sarah goes home, gets her husband to spit in it, her two teenage sons to spit in it, her cat and her dog, mixes the sample up, and adds some mud she dug up from the garden.
So, she returns to the Madam. Madam Evangeline again takes the glass, swirls the concoction, inhales deeply… she takes another whiff…and after a thoughtful pause, says, “Your husband is a social smoker who favors cheap Merlot, your two sons are experimenting with chewing tobacco, your cat has a hairball, your dog has been eating something he shouldn’t, and if you would just stop licking dirt, your cough would clear right up!”
Alright, let’s break down this urine-soaked joke and see what comedic gold we can extract.
Joke Deconstruction:
- Premise: A man with tennis elbow visits an “alternative doctor” known for quirky methods.
- Setup: The doctor diagnoses the condition solely by smelling a urine sample, despite not being told the ailment. The patient is skeptical.
- Punchline: The man attempts to trick the doctor with a contaminated sample, but the doctor accurately deduces the sources and even reaffirms the original diagnosis, linking it to the man’s behavior.
- Humor: The humor stems from the absurdity of the diagnostic method, the patient’s misguided attempt at deception, and the doctor’s preternatural (and frankly, unbelievable) olfactory abilities. It’s also slightly crude, playing on bodily fluids and sexual behavior.
Key Elements:
- Alternative Medicine: The doctor’s “alternative” methods are the foundation of the joke.
- Urine as Diagnostic Tool: The improbability of urine analysis via smell for such a wide range of conditions.
- Tennis Elbow: The specific, relatively common, and generally non-life-threatening ailment being diagnosed.
- The Patient’s Deception: The elaborate attempt to fool the doctor and the hubris involved.
- The Doctor’s Exaggerated Skill: The near-magical ability to deduce so much from a single sniff.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s leverage these elements to create something new.
Option 1: Witty Observation
“You know, this whole ‘alternative medicine’ thing has gone too far. My acupuncturist now diagnoses my financial woes by reading my aura… and then charges me extra for ‘spiritual debt relief’.”
- Leverages: Alternative medicine absurdity.
- Adds: Modern anxieties about finances, cynicism.
Option 2: “Did You Know?” (Playing on the Urine Element)
“Did you know that urine was once used in Roman laundries as a source of ammonia to clean togas? So, technically, Bob’s wife, daughter, dog, and ahem contributions to the sample were just helping Dr. Wang start a dry-cleaning business on the side. Maybe that’s why he insisted.”
- Leverages: Urine as a diagnostic tool (by undermining it and revealing actual historical uses).
- Adds: Historical trivia, absurdism, and a cynical twist.
Option 3: New Joke (Twisting the Premise)
A woman goes to a “Holistic AI Healer.” The AI asks for a stool sample. Suspicious, she mixes in spinach, glitter, and a USB drive containing the entire script of “Friends.” The AI analyzes the sample and says, “You need more fiber, you’re clearly seeking validation from external sources, and… you’re obsessed with a sitcom that ended 20 years ago. Also, your system is infected with a virus and it’s really, really annoying.”
- Leverages: The “alternative” diagnostic method and bizarre sample.
- Adds: Modern anxieties about technology, data privacy, and pop culture obsessions. It also reverses the power dynamic, making the “doctor” the superior intelligence.