A guy calls his boss and tells him he can’t come into work because he’s sick.

Joke Poo: The Existential Accountant

An accountant calls his therapist and says he can’t come to his appointment because he’s having a crisis.

“Another crisis?” says the therapist. “What’s troubling you now?”

The accountant says, “I have accounting agnosia.”

“Accounting agnosia?” says the therapist. “What on earth is that?”

And the accountant says, “I just can’t account for why I’m going to work every day.”

Alright, let’s dissect this bad boy.

Joke Dissection:

• Type: Play on words, pun, situational humor, potentially offensive (depending on the audience).
• Setup: A worker calls in sick, creating an expected scenario. The boss’s frustration is relatable.
• Punchline: The unexpected “anal glaucoma” and its ridiculous explanation delivers the humor. It’s funny because it’s absurd and relatable in the sense that we’ve all felt that reluctance to go to work.
• Key Elements:
  • “Sick” excuse: The common trope of calling in sick.
  • Medical Term Jargon: The use of a medical term to lend credibility (however flimsy).
  • Misdirection: The setup leads you to expect a “real” illness.
  • Visual Pun: The punchline creates a mental image of… well, you know.

Comedic Enrichment:

Now, let’s use some of those elements to create something new.

Option 1: Witty Observation (Inspired by Medical Jargon)

“It’s funny how we’ve medicalized everything. We used to just say, ‘I’m lazy.’ Now it’s ‘Motivational Deficiency Disorder’ or in extreme cases ‘Job Avoidance Vision Impairment’. I heard someone tried to file it as a disability.”

Why it works: This takes the medical jargon element and applies it to the broader trend of over-diagnosing and over-medicalizing everyday behaviors. It’s an observation that builds on the original joke’s absurd premise.

Option 2: Did You Know? (Dark humor approach)

“Did you know Glaucoma, in its real form, is a leading cause of irreversible blindness? It’s all about pressure in the eye, slowly damaging the optic nerve. Of course, ‘Job-Related Optic Nerve Compression Syndrome’ isn’t a recognized medical condition. Though maybe it should be, considering how many people’s careers are blinding them to the joy in life.”

Why it works: This juxtaposition uses a piece of factual knowledge about glaucoma to highlight the absurdity of the joke, then uses that to segue into a more pointed comment about career dissatisfaction.

Option 3: The “Alternative Ending” Joke Extension

“The boss, momentarily speechless, replies, ‘Okay, well, I appreciate the honesty. Just… bring a doctor’s note when you return.’ The guy sighs, ‘That’s the problem. I can’t see anyone willing to write one!'”

Why it works: Adds another layer of comedic payoff, playing on the idea of seeking validation for the absurd condition and taking the joke to a higher level of irrationality.