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A man is telling the bartender about his nightmares and difficulty sleeping as he sips his beer. Another patron arrives and sits a few stools away, listening to the other guy talking about recurring nightmares from his childhood – monsters under his bed that keep him anxious, worried, and awake all

Posted on October 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

The second patron is a psychiatrist and feeling compelled to assist, offers the man with nightmares a session at a discount and gives him his card. The psychiatrist finishes his drink and leaves the bar.

A few weeks later the psychiatrist stops by the same bar and sees the same man, now much happier and laughing with the bartender as he sips his beer. The psychiatrist greets both then says to the other patron, “wow, you’ve had a nice turn-around. You never came to my office so how did you get over your nightmares about the monsters under your bed?”

Man, “oh, yeah, the bartender helped me.”

Psychiatrist, “interesting, I did not know he was trained as I am. How could he possibly help you in so short a time?”

Man, “it was easy, he told me to saw the legs off my bed.”

Joke Poo: A-void-ance Technique

A stressed-out astronaut is complaining to the shuttle’s AI about his increasing anxiety during missions. He describes constant worry about accidentally floating away during spacewalks, the claustrophobia in the cramped quarters, and, most importantly, the zero-gravity toilet situation giving him pause. Another astronaut, overhearing the discussion, sidles up. He’s a renowned expert in zero-g living and offers a solution by giving his card for a consultation.

A month later, the expert astronaut sees the stressed astronaut looking much calmer and relaxed, even enjoying a nutrient paste packet with gusto.

“Wow,” the expert says, “you seem like a new man! I didn’t see you schedule an appointment with me, so how did you manage to overcome your anxiety, especially regarding the…ahem…elimination process?”

The stressed astronaut smiles. “Oh, the shuttle’s AI fixed it.”

The expert is intrigued. “The AI? I didn’t know it was programmed for psychological support! How did it help you overcome such a complex issue?”

The stressed astronaut grins mischievously. “Easy. It told me to just clench and wait until we land.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor serum!

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A man confides in a bartender about his childhood nightmares of monsters under his bed, overheard by a psychiatrist.
  • Premise: The psychiatrist offers professional help.
  • Punchline: The man reveals that the bartender solved his problem by suggesting he saw the legs off his bed.
  • Humor Source: The humor comes from the contrast between the professional psychological approach and the absurdly simple, physical solution. It’s a clash of expert vs. practical, with the practical solution winning out. The unexpectedness of the “saw the legs off the bed” is also a key element.

Key Elements:

  1. Nightmares/Monsters: Representing psychological problems and anxieties.
  2. Psychiatrist: Symbolizing professional help and complex solutions.
  3. Bartender: Representing common sense and simple, practical solutions.
  4. The Bed: The locus of the problem, and the object of the unexpected solution.

Humor Enrichment & New Joke Creation:

Let’s play on the “bed” element and the difference between professional and “barstool” advice.

New Joke:

A woman is complaining to her therapist about recurring dreams where she’s being chased by a giant, sentient mattress. “It’s terrifying,” she says, “It keeps yelling about needing to be flipped and rotated.”

The therapist nods thoughtfully. “We need to explore the symbolism here. What does the mattress represent to you? Perhaps a fear of commitment, or the burden of responsibility?”

Later, the woman is at a bar, relating the same dream to the bartender.

“A sentient mattress, huh?” the bartender says, wiping down the counter. “Tell you what, next time you have that dream, just yell back, ‘I’ll flip you when you pay the mortgage!’ That’ll shut it up.”

Did you know… enhanced fun fact

The average mattress contains between 100,000 and 10 million dust mites. That’s enough to give anyone nightmares, regardless of what’s under the bed. Maybe the bartender had a point – sometimes a simple solution like a mattress encasement is all you need!

Witty Observation:

Therapists charge by the hour to explore your subconscious. Bartenders charge by the drink to help you forget it. Both are equally effective, depending on the problem (and your credit limit).

Why it Works:

  • The new joke maintains the clash between professional analysis and the bartender’s common-sense advice.
  • It adds a layer of absurdity with the “sentient mattress” chasing the woman, highlighting the ridiculousness of over-analyzing dreams.
  • The “did you know” plays on the real-world grossness of mattresses to add another layer of humor.
  • The witty observation is a simple comparison that highlights the different, but equally valid, ways people cope with problems.

The success of the new humor relies on the contrast between the perceived complexity of psychological problems and the appeal of simple solutions. It also highlights the slightly silly (and relatable) idea that sometimes, a good drink and some practical advice are more helpful than hours of therapy.

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