He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his father is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay as he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog outside named Kermit Jagger who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Joke Poo: The Parrot’s Portfolio
A parrot waddles into a brokerage firm and squawks at the analyst. He sees from her nameplate her name is Bethany Bonds. “Ms. Bonds, I’d like to invest $500,000 in some high-yield bonds.” Bethany stares at the parrot, flustered, and asks his name. The parrot replies, “My name is Polly Want-a-Cracker Buffett, my mentor is Warren Buffett, and it’s all above board as I know the senior partner.” Bethany explains that he’ll need to verify the funds with some documentation. The parrot says, “Certainly. I have this,” and presents a single, perfectly formed, iridescent feather, shimmering with blues and greens. Completely bewildered, Bethany explains she’ll have to consult with the senior partner and retreats to his opulent office. She blurts out, “There’s a parrot out there named Polly Want-a-Cracker Buffett who claims to know you and wants to invest half a million dollars, and he offers this as proof of funds.” She holds up the dazzling feather. “I mean, what in the world is this?” The senior partner peers at the feather and then back at Bethany, saying, “It’s a blue chip, Bethany Bonds, give the parrot the fund. The bird’s got good plumage.”
Alright, let’s dissect this froggy finance farce!
Key Elements:
- The Absurdity of the Situation: A frog applying for a loan. This is the foundational incongruity that makes the whole thing work.
- Name Play/Pun: “Kermit Jagger” and the punchline’s play on “Knick Knack Patty Whack” rhyme, linking a children’s rhyme and The Rolling Stones.
- The Collateral: A ridiculously small and useless pink porcelain elephant. Its insignificance highlights the absurdity.
- The Bank Manager’s Knowledge: Implies insider baseball/ celebrity worship.
- Repetition: Patty Whack’s name reinforces the Punchline, with the help of the manager
Joke Breakdown:
The joke leverages a series of increasingly improbable scenarios. We start with the inherently funny image of a frog wanting a loan. Then comes the name gag, followed by the preposterous collateral. The resolution is the clincher – the manager is in on the celebrity connection. It’s the unexpected reason for granting the loan that truly seals it.
Comedic Enrichment Attempt 1: Observational Humor
“You know, this joke really hits different now. Banks don’t even ask for collateral anymore. They just assume that if you’re a frog named Kermit Jagger, you’re good for it. They’re so desperate for liquidity, they will give it to anyone”
Comedic Enrichment Attempt 2: Fact-Based Witticism (Did you know? style)
“Did you know that pink elephants have been a symbol of hallucinations and delirium tremens (DTs) since the early 20th century? So, maybe the bank manager wasn’t just star-struck; maybe Patty Whack should have called a doctor instead of approving that loan. Either way, Mick Jagger’s likely to be in DTs when his son takes out a $30,000 loan.”
Comedic Enrichment Attempt 3: A Revised Joke/Twist
A frog walks into a bank, looking stressed. He hops up to the teller. “Miss Whack, I need a loan – $30,000. My name’s Kermit Jagger.”
The teller, unfazed, says, “Sir, I know exactly who you are. We ran a credit check. You’re completely uncollateralized. Your net worth is approximately 3 flies and a half-eaten lily pad.”
The frog sighs. “Look, I’m famous. My dad’s Mick Jagger.”
The teller raises an eyebrow. “Sir, your father abandoned you in a swamp 40 years ago. Your only communication is the occasional royalty check from a 1960s song called ‘Ruby Tuesday’ about… wait for it… your first girlfriend.”
The frog croaks, dejected. “Well, can I at least have some bug spray?”