…One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact $1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up."
Joke Poo: The IT Support Request
Three IT technicians are sifting through old servers in a dusty, forgotten corner of the data center when they stumble upon a particularly ancient, blinking machine. One of them, a seasoned vet named Bob, reaches out and slaps the power button. A cloud of static crackles, and a holographic gremlin flickers into existence.
The gremlin squeaks, “You have roused me from my digital slumber! As a token of my gratitude, I shall grant each of you three support requests. But be warned, I interpret requests… literally.”
The first technician, a junior newbie named Dave, practically vibrates with excitement. “I want instant mastery of every programming language!” Bzzzt! A torrent of code floods his vision, making him instantly nauseous.
The second technician, a cynical middleware specialist named Carol, sighs. “I want an end to all the password reset requests.” Bzzzt! All user accounts are immediately locked, triggering an even bigger wave of panic.
The third technician, Bob, the seasoned vet, rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I want my coffee cup to refill itself with fresh, hot coffee whenever it’s empty.” Bzzzt! His cup instantly fills.
The gremlin informs them they each have two more requests. Dave, now pale and sweating, screams, “I want all this programming knowledge GONE!” Bzzzt! He feels his brain empty, and he promptly forgets how to turn on a computer.
Carol, overwhelmed by the cries of frustrated users, shouts, “I want those accounts unlocked, but with even MORE complex passwords!” Bzzzt! The accounts unlock with impossible-to-remember, un-copyable, multi-factor-authentication-required passwords, causing mass system lockouts.
Bob, still sipping his coffee, calmly says, “I want my coffee to also stir itself automatically.” Bzzzt! The coffee spins violently in his cup, splashing all over him.
The gremlin, cackling with digital glee, tells them to think carefully about their final support requests before disappearing. Dave, now utterly useless, whimpers in a corner. Carol, buried under a mountain of support tickets, is twitching.
Bob ponders for a moment, then says, “I want my coffee to always be perfectly temperature controlled and to never spill again.” Bzzzt! Now the coffee cup levitates slightly above the desk, constantly humming at a perfect 160 degrees, and slowly spins, even when empty.
Years later, the trio reunite at an IT conference. Dave is working as a barista, blissfully unaware of the horrors of code. Carol is a stressed-out executive, delegating the password issues to a different department.
Bob walks up, his coffee cup floating beside him, gently swirling. “Hey guys!” he says cheerfully. “So, I may have made a mistake.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then craft a comedic extension.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Three men, a genie, and three wishes each. A classic setup ripe with possibility.
- Humor Core: The escalating absurdity of the third guy’s wishes. He prioritizes pointless, attention-grabbing actions over wealth, love, or health. This subverts the standard “be careful what you wish for” trope by emphasizing not the danger of a badly worded wish, but the sheer stupidity of a poorly considered one.
- Key Elements:
- Genie/Wishes: The fantastical element enabling the wish fulfillment.
- Greed/Materialism: The first two wishes are focused on money and status.
- Contrasting Absurdity: The juxtaposition of practical wishes versus the utterly impractical ones.
- Understatement: The punchline relies on the understatement of “I think I fucked up,” highlighting the gulf between expectations and reality.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the ridiculousness of the third guy’s wishes. We can explore this through a “Did You Know?” style fact that builds on the joke’s premise:
Original Joke’s Inspiration:
Did you know? The average adult makes over 35,000 conscious decisions every day. These range from what to wear to whether to cut someone off in traffic, and only about 0.12% of these decisions have a lasting, positive, or even memorable effect on our lives! If the Third Guy had hired a “Decision-Making Consultant” (a rapidly growing and largely unregulated field), for a mere $1,500 per hour they would’ve shown him that endless arm-flailing has very minimal impact on stock trading, romantic endeavors, or impressing woodland creatures. Even the consultant, struggling to keep a straight face, would have suggested wishing for the ability to always pick the shortest line at the grocery store…
Another route to go
My take on the third guy in the story:
While I understand your guys frustration with my choices, I am now a sensation in the “rave” community, they call my move “the broken windmill” and I’m sponsored by the energy drink “Amp”. I got to take a private jet to Ibiza and party like a rock star. Now who’s laughing.