…dick. His jungle friends back home said they would help him out by giving him the spare parts he needed. They gave him the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant’s trunk for a dick.
A couple weeks pass and a chimp comes by to ask Tarzan how his new parts are.
Tarzan says
“Eye, make Tarzan see far”
“Arm, make Tarzan strong”
“But Tarzan no like new wee-wee”
The chimp asks “why not?”
Tarzan makes a curling motion with his arm, mimicking an elephant’s trunk and says,
“It keeps picking weeds and shoving up Tarzan’s ass!”
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version, titled appropriately, based on the Tarzan joke:
Joke Poo: Professor Plum’s Predicament
Professor Plum, renowned botanist, was deep in the Amazon rainforest researching a rare orchid when disaster struck. A piranha swarm, not particularly discerning, took his left ear, his right hand, and… well, let’s just say his lower regions were considerably shortened.
Distraught, his colleagues at the university pooled their resources. They managed to graft onto him the hearing of a bat, the hand of a silverback gorilla, and the reproductive organ of a giant anteater.
Weeks later, Miss Scarlet visits Professor Plum to see how he’s adjusting.
“Professor Plum, how are your new… additions?” she inquires delicately.
Plum replies, “The bat’s hearing is exceptional; I can hear a moth flutter its wings across the hall. The gorilla hand… well, it’s a bit much, but it’s incredibly strong.”
Scarlet leans in, “And the… other thing? How is that working out for you?”
Plum sighs, gesturing with his gorilla hand in a frantic, back-and-forth motion, and says, “It keeps trying to find ant nests, and it’s been working furiously on the rug!”
Here’s why it works (or tries to):
- Character/Setting Shift: Tarzan is replaced by Professor Plum, a nerdy academic. Africa is replaced by the Amazon. This immediately changes the context and sets a different tone.
- Similar Setup: We keep the “losing body parts, getting replacements” core.
- Unexpected Animal Substitute: The lion, eagle, gorilla, and elephant are replaced by piranhas, a bat, a gorilla, and an anteater (a somewhat absurd but logically consistent animal for the area damaged.)
- Twist: The punchline relies on the anteater’s instinctual behavior (searching for ants), creating a humorous and awkward situation, and a new source of embarrassment.
- Maintained comedic flow: The rhythm of the original is largely maintained. A question is asked and then a punchline reveals the source of humor in the new addition.
Alright, let’s dive into this Tarzan tale!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Tarzan’s a legendary figure fighting a lion and losing significant body parts. The premise of jungle friends providing replacements sets up a humorous, improbable situation.
- Key Elements:
- Tarzan: The iconic wild man, known for strength and agility.
- Animal Body Parts: Exaggerated, stereotypical animal attributes (eagle’s vision, gorilla’s strength, elephant’s trunk size).
- Incongruity: The humorous core lies in the mismatch between the intended function of the replacement parts and their actual, unexpected behavior, particularly the elephant trunk.
- Crude Humor: Relies on the phallic symbol of the trunk and its “misuse.”
- Punchline: The trunk’s weed-picking and backside insertion creates a visual and deeply uncomfortable (and therefore funny) image.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s leverage some real-world elephant facts to make a new observation/joke:
New Observation:
You know, elephants actually use their trunks to do a lot more than just pluck weeds (or…you know…worse). An elephant’s trunk is an incredibly sensitive organ, containing over 40,000 muscles – that’s more than the entire human body! Imagine the dexterity! It’s no wonder Tarzan’s new “equipment” was so…enterprising. I mean, with that kind of muscle control, who knows what other things it could get up to? Maybe writing a haiku. Maybe playing the ukulele. Maybe finally solving that Rubik’s Cube Tarzan’s been working on. Or, you know, still picking weeds out of his butt. The possibilities are…disturbing, yet strangely fascinating.
Explanation:
- Builds on the premise: It acknowledges the original joke but shifts focus.
- Uses factual information: The trunk muscle count adds a layer of absurd realism.
- Implies further incongruity: The idea of an elephant trunk using its immense dexterity for mundane or intellectual tasks contrasts with the crude punchline.
- Lingering discomfort: It ends by bringing back the butt-weeds, ensuring the original joke’s essence isn’t entirely lost.
- Elevates the humor: Hopefully, it turns lowbrow into something slightly more sophisticated. Or at least more interestingly repulsive.