The driver screamed, almost lost control of the car, barely avoided collision with another one, and then just about managed to stop inches before slamming into a wall. After a minute of silence, the driver says: “Please, don’t do that anymore. I almost crapped my pants.” The passenger goes: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that a soft pat on the back could startle you so bad.” The driver: “Well, it’s not really your fault. You see, today is actually my first day driving a taxi. Before that I used to drive a hearse for over 20 years.”
Joke Poo: The Substitute Teacher
A student in the back row of a classroom, bored in the middle of a long lecture, tossed a crumpled paper ball at the substitute teacher’s head to get his attention.
The substitute teacher yelped, spun around wildly, nearly knocked over the globe, and just managed to catch himself before falling over the desk. After a tense moment of silence, the substitute teacher said, “Please, don’t do that anymore. I almost soiled myself.”
The student replied, “I apologize, I didn’t realize a small paper ball could frighten you so much.”
The substitute teacher sighed, “Well, it’s not really your fault. You see, today is actually my first day as a substitute teacher. Before this, I was a professional mime for over 20 years.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A passenger requests a destination change mid-journey.
- Punchline: The extreme overreaction of the taxi driver is explained by his recent career change from hearse driver.
- Key Elements:
- Startled Reaction: The core of the humor lies in the exaggerated, almost comical, response of the driver.
- Hearse Driver Background: The unexpected explanation that subverts the audience’s expectations. Hearse driving is associated with death, stillness, and a lack of sudden movements, which juxtaposes humorously with taxi driving.
- Innocent Passenger: The passenger’s naivete heightens the contrast with the driver’s potentially traumatic experience.
Humorous Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the hearse driver element. Did you know hearse driving is so specialized?
Humorous “Did You Know?”
“Did you know that professional hearse drivers often undergo specialized training, including courses in ‘Casket Handling Etiquette’ and ‘Empathic Route Selection?’ One module specifically focuses on not instinctively swerving towards funeral homes when hearing the phrase ‘Just take me downtown.'”
New Joke Idea:
A hearse driver, on his first day as a taxi driver, picks up a priest. The priest, clearing his throat, says, “Well, this is awkward… but I’m actually running late for a…uh…resurrection service. Can you step on it?” The driver, eyes widening in terror, floors the gas pedal, nearly launching the priest through the windshield. The priest, clinging to his seat, cries, “Whoa! Easy there! I just meant hurry!” The driver, pale as death, replies, “I am hurrying! But you have to understand, I haven’t seen a resurrection in years, and the last time, well, it wasn’t exactly smooth.”
Witty Observation:
“You know you’re dealing with a hearse driver turned taxi driver when he gives you the dead-eye stare even before you’ve told him you’re paying with a card.”