As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most – his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.
He told them, “I’m going to give you each £30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me.”
All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.
While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said “I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took £10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put £20,000 in the coffin.”
The physician then said, “Well, since we’re confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn’t put the full £30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost £20,000 and I couldn’t afford it then. I used £20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that.”
The lawyer then said, “I’m ashamed of both of you. When I saw you'd underpaid, I took your money out of the coffin and left a personal check for the full amount. Reverend, you owe me £10,000, and Doctor, you own me £20,000.”
Original Joke (Mr. Smith’s Last Wishes):
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most – his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.
He told them, “I’m going to give you each £30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me.”
All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.
While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said “I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took £10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put £20,000 in the coffin.”
The physician then said, “Well, since we’re confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn’t put the full £30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost £20,000 and I couldn’t afford it then. I used £20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that.”
The lawyer then said, “I’m ashamed of both of you. When I saw you’d underpaid, I took your money out of the coffin and left a personal check for the full amount. Reverend, you owe me £10,000, and Doctor, you own me £20,000.”
Joke Poo: Grandma’s Crypto Cache
Old Mrs. Higgins, notorious for her eccentric investments, was breathing her last. Determined to bring her digital fortune with her, she summoned her three closest relatives: her tech-savvy grandson, her financially struggling daughter, and her perpetually broke brother.
“I’m giving each of you 10 Bitcoin,” she rasped, “with the understanding that you’ll deposit it directly into my digital wallet at my funeral. I intend to take it to the afterlife!”
Each relative solemnly vowed to fulfill her wish and received the Bitcoin. At the funeral, they each approached the open laptop placed beside the casket and appeared to transfer the Bitcoin.
On the way back from the cemetery, the grandson confessed, “I feel terrible. The blockchain was glitching, and the transaction fees were insane. I only transferred 8 Bitcoin; I used the other two to optimize the transaction speed so it would confirm before she…you know.”
The daughter spoke next, “Well, since we’re being honest, I have a confession too. I needed to pay off my mortgage, so I converted half the Bitcoin to fiat and put the remaining 5 in. Mom always said family came first, and she wouldn’t want me homeless.”
The brother sighed, “I’m disgusted with both of you! I knew you couldn’t be trusted. I immediately sold all your Bitcoin, reinvested it in a stablecoin paying 12% APY, and the interest will provide an income for the family for generations. I also left a detailed instruction manual for its use and the password on the laptop, in case she makes it through.
Changes Made and Why:
- Replaced Characters: Mr. Smith with an eccentric Grandma, and his confidants with family members.
- Changed Currency: Traditional cash (£) to Bitcoin.
- Altered Motivation: Original was about control over wealth post-mortem; the new version retains that but adds generational wealth.
- Maintained Structure: The confession format with escalating moral failings remains the same.
- Twist: The final twist is updated to reflect the new scenario and to still have a shocking twist.
- Replaced Location: Money deposited in the coffin is replaced with deposited into the deceased persons crypto wallet.
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then spin it into something new.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: A dying man tries to take his wealth with him.
- Setup: He distributes money to trusted professionals with instructions to place it in his coffin.
- Twist 1: The clergyman and doctor rationalize using some of the money for worthy causes.
- Twist 2: The lawyer one-ups them both by (impliedly) keeping all the money and “replacing” it with a check, effectively scamming the dying man in a more sophisticated (and arguably more cynical) way.
- Humor Source: The irony of the supposedly trustworthy professions (especially the lawyer) acting in self-serving ways, and the audacity of the lawyer’s move. It also plays on the common suspicion/stereotype of lawyers.
Key Elements:
- Deathbed wishes
- Greed
- Professions: Clergy, Doctor, Lawyer
- Moral compromise
- Money, finance, and the concept of value
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Approach: Playing on the “Lawyer as a Shark” Stereotype
New Joke:
Mr. Smith, a lawyer known for his aggressive billable hours even in his sleep, was on his deathbed. He called his accountant and dictated his will. “I want to be cremated,” he rasped, “and I want half my ashes scattered over the ocean, and the other half placed in an interest accruing account in my name for my grandchildren”
The accountant, a bit bewildered, asked, “Why those specific instructions, Mr. Smith?”
Mr. Smith smiled weakly, “Well, it’s a simple principle. Half of me will be ‘going out to sea’, as it were, and the other half should be ‘ compounding daily’. I’m a lawyer; some habits die hard, and I want to be earning even after I’m gone.”
Why this works:
- Builds on the Key Element: The greed associated with the lawyer.
- Extends the Irony: The joke heightens the absurdity of the lawyer’s obsession with money, to the point it becomes a life-long trait.
- Leverages a Known Stereotype: Capitalizes on the common perception of lawyers as always seeking to maximize profit.
- Incorporates financial/legal language: “Compounding daily,” “going out to sea” creates a darkly humorous contrast, highlighting the lawyer’s warped priorities even at the end.
Another Approach: “Did You Know” Amusing Factoid:
Did You Know:
Historically, it was considered morally repugnant for clergy to profit directly from funerals. However, the cost of bells for churches has always been a challenge. In 17th-century England, the practice of “toll-ing” or ringing the church bells upon a person’s death could result in a small gratuity to the bell-ringer, and often directly supported the church in some parishes. Some saw this as a more ethical funding source than, say, ‘investing in medical machinery’.
Why this works:
- Adds Context: The historical factoid is relevant to the clergy’s rationale in the original joke.
- Offers Insight: Provides a glimpse into the historical relationship between the Church and money.
- Subtly Enhances the Humor: Knowing that churches may have indirectly profited off death in the past makes the clergyman’s decision in the original joke a bit more layered and ironic.
I hope these examples successfully demonstrate how to dissect a joke, identify key elements, and then create new humor based on those elements.