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Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

They asked him to count to 10 he goes “246 810“ so they put the left half back in and remove the right half. They ask him to count to 10 again he goes “37215. They put the right half back in and go ahead and remove both halves and ask him to count to 10 he goes “look I’m the best at counting and I have the best numbers no one has better numbers then me And my fourth grade math teacher and let me tell you she was the greatest math teacher at the time she said you have the best numbers ever so watch I’m going to count to 10“ on my phenomenal counter. I’m going to count them tremendously.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your provided joke, titled "The Programmer’s Dilemma":

Original Joke (for reference):

Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain. They asked him to count to 10 he goes “246 810“. So they put the left half back in and remove the right half. They ask him to count to 10 again he goes “37215. They put the right half back in and go ahead and remove both halves and ask him to count to 10 he goes “look I’m the best at counting and I have the best numbers no one has better numbers then me And my fourth grade math teacher and let me tell you she was the greatest math teacher at the time she said you have the best numbers ever so watch I’m going to count to 10“ on my phenomenal counter. I’m going to count them tremendously.

Joke Poo: The Programmer’s Dilemma

A team of engineers decided to optimize a chatbot’s code. They started by deleting half of its Python libraries. They asked it to write a haiku. The chatbot printed "Error 404: Module ‘Poetry’ not found." So, they restored the Poetry library and removed the TensorFlow module instead. They asked it to write a haiku again. The chatbot just outputted, "Roses are flow– Segmentation fault." They put TensorFlow back and, for good measure, removed all of the chatbot’s code. They asked it to write a haiku. The chatbot responded, "Believe me, this chatbot… is the best chatbot, okay? Everyone agrees! The best haikus! The greatest haikus, frankly. No one can code haikus like this chatbot. And these other AI? Sad! They’re very, very sad. My code… beautiful! Absolutely beautiful haikus are coming. You’ll see! Tremendous haikus!"
Changes Made and Rationale:

  • Characters/Setting: Replaced scientists with engineers, and a man’s brain with a chatbot’s code/libraries.
  • Core Task: Instead of counting, the task becomes writing a haiku. This is a task associated with AI.
  • Error State 1: The left-brain counting error is replaced by a missing module error – something a programmer would instantly recognize.
  • Error State 2: The right-brain counting error is replaced by a segmentation fault – a classic programming error.
  • "No Brain" State: The final counting rant is replaced by an overconfident, rambling response from the chatbot that mimics a particular political figure (a humorous twist on a common trope).

The overall structure and progression of the joke are maintained, with the surprise being the final, exaggerated response, which aims for a similar comedic effect as the original’s political punchline. The humor comes from the specific programming errors and the absurd contrast between the chatbot’s claimed abilities and its actual performance.

Alright, let’s break down this wonderfully absurd joke.

Key Elements:

  • Brain Hemispheres: The core premise relies on the idea that different brain hemispheres control specific functions.
  • Counting & Math: The joke uses counting to demonstrate the supposed malfunction.
  • Political Satire/Parody: The final segment is a blatant parody of Donald Trump’s speaking style, characterized by boasting, self-aggrandizement, tangential stories, and repetitive phrases.
  • Absurdity: The results of removing brain hemispheres are increasingly nonsensical and disconnected from reality.

Analysis:

The humor derives from the incongruity. We expect a simple counting task to be fundamental, yet removing brain sections leads to hilariously flawed results. The punchline hinges on the recognition of the political figure being parodied. The escalation from simple math errors to full-blown incoherent boasting is key to the comedic effect. The joke plays on stereotypes of right-brain/left-brain functions, albeit in an exaggerated and scientifically inaccurate way.

Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Idea:

Let’s focus on the brain hemisphere element and introduce a factual-ish twist:

Did you know: While the joke suggests specific hemispheres are solely responsible for math skills, modern neuroscience suggests it’s a much more collaborative process. In fact, a study at the University of Cognitive Dissonance found that removing any part of the brain significantly improves one’s ability to invent facts.

New Joke (Playing off the original and the "Did You Know"):

A neuroscientist, frustrated by the lack of funding for his research, decided to try a radical experiment. He removed half of his own brain, reasoning, "Maybe if I become delusional enough, I can finally secure a grant!"

After the surgery, he presented his research proposal: "My study will prove that pigeons control global weather patterns through advanced telepathy! My methods involve… laser beams and interpretive dance!"

The grant committee, utterly bewildered, initially dismissed him. But then, the head of the committee, recalling the scientist’s earlier, far more reasonable, but ultimately unfunded proposals, leaned forward and said, "You know what? You’re right. This is exactly the kind of groundbreaking, albeit terrifyingly insane, research we need! Approved!"

The scientist, now with only half a brain and a million-dollar grant, smiled triumphantly. "See?" he mumbled, "Sometimes, less really is more…especially when it comes to believable research findings!"

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