They thought it might have something to do with the transmission, so they couldn’t repair it while he waited. He told the mechanics that he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem ― how to carry his purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer replied "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot."
The old lady suggested "Why don’t you do this? Put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand."
"Why, thank you very much, that works just fine!" he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he said, "Let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me … How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t have your way with me?”
The farmer said with some irritation, "Holy smokes, lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I do that?"
The old lady replied "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint can on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the bloody chickens."
Joke Poo: The Software Update
A programmer stopped by the local tech support shop to have his laptop fixed. They thought it might have something to do with the operating system, so they couldn’t fix it while he waited. He told the tech that he lived nearby and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the bookstore and bought a thick “C++ for Dummies” book and a large-print biography of Linus Torvalds. He then stopped by the grocery store and picked up a six-pack of energy drinks and a family-sized bag of cheesy puffs. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his purchases home.
While he was trying to juggle the books and snacks, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 123 Main Street?” The programmer replied, “Well, as a matter of fact, my apartment is very close to that address. I would walk you there but I can’t carry all this stuff.”
The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you do this? Put the “C++ for Dummies” book on top of the Linus Torvalds biography. Carry the stack of books in one arm, put the cheesy puffs under your other arm and carry the six-pack of energy drinks in your hand.”
“Why, thank you very much, that works just fine!” he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he said, “Let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this dark web server room. We’ll be there in no time.”
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a vulnerable user without two-factor authentication… How do I know that when we get into the server room you won’t install malware on my system?”
The programmer said with some irritation, “Holy motherboard, lady! I’m carrying a stack of books, a bag of cheesy puffs, and a six-pack of energy drinks. How in the world could I do that?”
The old lady replied, “Set the “C++ for Dummies” book down. Put the biography of Linus Torvalds on top of it to hold it in place. Plug the energy drinks into a USB hub, and I’ll just eat the bloody cheesy puffs and wait.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke:
Key Elements:
- The Farmer & The Problem: A farmer needs to transport multiple awkward items.
- The Helpful Old Lady: She offers a seemingly practical solution.
- The Sexual Innuendo/Misunderstanding: The old lady fears assault.
- The Farmer’s Absurd Response: The humor lies in the farmer’s inability to comprehend the scenario, focused solely on the physical impossibility given his load.
- The Old Lady’s Solution: Her proposed solution escalates the absurdity and boldness.
Joke Type: Situational, with a twist involving a misunderstanding and a darkly humorous punchline. It plays on stereotypes (naive farmer, cunning old lady) and expectations.
Let’s find some interesting/related facts and make something new:
Fact Gathering:
- Goose Aggression: Geese are notoriously territorial and aggressive.
- Chicken Domestication: Chickens were likely first domesticated in Southeast Asia for cockfighting, not food.
- Paint Ingredients: Modern paints use a wide variety of chemicals, some of which can be toxic. Historically, paints used natural pigments (ochre, charcoal, etc.).
- Buckets: Buckets have been around since antiquity, initially made from wood, clay or animal hides.
- Farmers and Alleyways: Farms are less often located in densely urban locations with alleyways nowadays.
New Humorous Content – Observation:
“You know, the joke about the farmer and the old lady makes you wonder: if you’re that concerned about being attacked in an alleyway, are the two live chickens under your arm really offering any kind of credible defence?”
New Humorous Content – Joke:
Why did the farmer bring a goose, two chickens, a bucket, and paint to the therapy session?
Because he had a lot of fowl issues to work through, was struggling with bucket list items, felt his life was a bit paint-by-numbers, and his therapist kept telling him to “find his inner peace, even if it means getting a little goosey.”
New Humorous Content – “Did You Know” with a Twist:
Did you know that chickens were first domesticated for cockfighting, not for their eggs or meat? So, in the farmer joke, maybe the old lady knew those chickens were a legitimate threat in the alley and was just setting the farmer up for a fair fight!
Explanation of Choices:
- Observation: I am pointing out that the premise that the chickens would offer protection is ludicrous, heightening the absurdity.
- Joke: The new joke attempts to capture the spirit of the original through puns.
- “Did You Know”: The did you know twist uses the fact about cockfighting to give a new (and also absurd) level of agency to the chicken and to imply the old lady had ulterior motives.