"Listen, I found a small gig, and I immediately thought of you."
The actor is ecstatic. "Of course, man! I'm eternally grateful, I'm completely broke. What's the part?"
"Well, it's… not big. It's just one line."
"One line? No problem!" says the actor, who is in no position to be picky. "What is it?"
"'Hark! I hear the cannons roar.'"
"'Hark! I hear the cannons roar?' Perfect! Where do I go?"
"The Grand Theater on Wednesday, ask for the director."
On Wednesday, the actor finds the director, who asks him to say the line. The actor delivers it with great theatrical pathos: "Hark! I hear the cannons roar!"
"Excellent!" says the director. "The part is yours. Be here Saturday at 7 PM for the show."
The actor, overjoyed by this turn of good fortune, immediately goes on a massive bender to celebrate.
He wakes up on Saturday at 6:30 PM.
In a complete panic, he frantically rushes to the theater, repeating his line all the way: "Hark! I hear the cannons roar. Hark! I hear the cannons roar."
At the entrance, the doorman stops him. "Where do you think you're going without a ticket?"
The actor gasps, "I am 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!'"
"Ah!" says the doorman. "You're 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!' Go on in."
The actor runs backstage. A stagehand blocks him. "Hey, you can't be back here!"
"I am 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!'"
"You're 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!?' You're late! Get to makeup, now!"
He bursts into the makeup room. The artist asks, "who are you?"
"I am 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!'"
"You're 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!'? You're so late! Sit down, I'll get you ready quickly."
Now in full costume, makeup, and covered in sweat, the actor runs to the side of the stage. The director grabs him.
"Are you 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!?'"
"I am 'Hark! I hear the cannons roar!'"
"You almost missed it! Go, that's your cue! Go!"
The actor runs onto the stage. The moment he's in position, a deafening explosion (the cannon sound effect) goes off right behind him.
He jumps, flinches, and screams at the top of his lungs:
"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY BACK THERE?!!"
Joke Poo: The Coding Internship
A college freshman, desperate for experience, gets a call from his older brother.
“Listen, I found a tiny internship, and I immediately thought of you.”
The freshman is ecstatic. “Seriously? Dude, I’m eternally grateful, I’m completely broke and need something for my resume. What’s the project?”
“Well, it’s… not big. It’s just one line of code.”
“One line? No problem!” says the freshman, who is in no position to be picky. “What is it?”
“‘console.log(“Hello World!”);'”
“‘console.log(“Hello World!”)’? Awesome! Where do I go?”
“The Tech Startup Incubator on Tuesday, ask for the CTO.”
On Tuesday, the freshman finds the CTO, who asks him to type in the line. The freshman types it with impressive keyboard speed and a confident flourish: “console.log(“Hello World!”);”
“Perfect!” says the CTO. “The internship is yours. Be here Friday at 9 AM for the release demo.”
The freshman, overjoyed by this turn of good fortune, immediately goes on a massive LAN gaming session to celebrate.
He wakes up on Friday at 8:30 AM.
In a complete panic, he frantically rushes to the Tech Startup Incubator, mumbling his line all the way: “console.log(“Hello World!”); console.log(“Hello World!”);”
At the entrance, the receptionist stops him. “Can I help you?”
The freshman gasps, “I am ‘console.log(“Hello World!”);'”
“Ah!” says the receptionist. “You’re ‘console.log(“Hello World!”);’ Go on in. Conference room B.”
The freshman runs down the hall. A developer blocks him. “Hey, you can’t be in here right now!”
“I am ‘console.log(“Hello World!”);'”
“You’re ‘console.log(“Hello World!”)’!? You’re late! Get to your computer, now!”
He bursts into the conference room. The CTO asks, “Are you ready?”
“I am ‘console.log(“Hello World!”);'”
“You’re ‘console.log(“Hello World!”)’? Alright, calm down and type it in for the big demo.”
Now sitting at his computer, sweating and nervous, the freshman stares at the IDE. The CTO grabs the microphone.
“Is everything in place, for the ‘console.log’?”
“I am ‘console.log(“Hello World!”);'”
“Alright then! Let’s run the demo! Hit enter!”
The freshman, completely overwhelmed by the pressure, slams his fist down on the keyboard and types:
“console.log(“Goodbye World!”);”
Alright, let’s dissect this comedic cannonball of a joke!
Key Elements:
- Desperate Actor: The core of the humor is the actor’s extreme need for work, leading to his acceptance of a ridiculously small role.
- The Single Line: The sheer absurdity of a character being a single, simple line (“Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”) is a source of humor.
- Premise vs Reality Mismatch: His drunken self-congratulatory celebration followed by his late arrival, contrast sharply with the perceived simplicity of the role, setting up the punchline beautifully.
- Misinterpretation: The doorman, makeup artist, and others mistaking the line for the actor’s identity highlights the joke’s ridiculousness.
- The Anticlimactic Payoff: The punchline, where the actor’s professionalism crumbles under the pressure of the cannon, is the satisfying culmination. He delivers the wrong line.
Enrichment Attempt: Comedic Observation & Alternative Punchline
Tidbit: Did you know that the famous Wilhelm scream, a stock sound effect used in countless movies, is often used when a character is falling or being injured? Like our actor, it’s a classic example of a single line (well, a scream) becoming iconic!
Comedic Observation: You know, the actor should have known something was up. How many theater productions need someone who literally is the sound effect? I bet the stage manager also doubles as the fog machine.
Alternative punchline suggestion:
The moment he’s in position, a deafening explosion (the cannon sound effect) goes off right behind him. He jumps, flinches, and screams at the top of his lungs:
“IT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE A CANNON!”