Man on a bus patiently waits for his turn.

Joke Poo: Gnome on the Gate

A gnome was guarding a magical mushroom patch, standing next to a particularly large and glistening toadstool. A pixie approached, fluttering impatiently.

The gnome, with his arms crossed, remained silent as the pixie tried to pluck the mushroom.

Growing increasingly agitated, the pixie threatened, “If you don’t let me take this mushroom, I’ll tell everyone you dyed your beard blue!”

The gnome didn’t budge. After about fifteen minutes of pleading and veiled threats, with the gnome still steadfastly guarding the mushroom, the pixie repeated her threat.

The gnome finally sighed, shifted his weight, and said, “Look, you need to decide. My blue dye washes off in an hour, and the goblin festival starts soon!”

Alright, let’s break down this joke:

Core Elements:

• The Setup: A common, relatable scenario – a man on a bus, a mother breastfeeding a fussy baby.
• The Misdirection: The setup leads us to believe the joke will be about breastfeeding in public, awkwardness, or the baby’s behavior.
• The Threat: The mother’s escalating threat to give the baby to the man if it doesn’t eat.
• The Punchline: The man’s exasperated response reveals he’s been patiently (and increasingly impatiently) waiting for the threat to be carried out, throwing the mother’s desperation and social norms into humorous contrast.

Humor Derives From:

• Unexpected Reversal: We expect the man to be embarrassed or disgusted. Instead, he’s annoyed that the threat hasn’t been followed through.
• Subversion of Social Norms: The joke plays on the absurdity of the mother’s threat and the man’s willingness to go along with it. Breastfeeding in public might be awkward to some, but not as awkward as this threat’s potential enactment.
• Patience as a Fault: The man’s initial politeness becomes the source of the humor, as it’s stretched to an unreasonable degree.
• Implied Cannibalism: The joke only works if the audience understands the threat is not to offer food, but a darkly implied act.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s explore the “patience” element, as it’s key to the joke’s setup and punchline.

Did you know:

The longest recorded bus ride in the world, according to Guinness World Records, is the route between Londrina, Brazil, and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The journey takes around 52 hours and covers a distance of about 1,600 miles. Imagine that breastfeeding scenario.

New Joke Idea:

A man is on that 52-hour bus from Londrina to Rio. A woman across the aisle is desperately trying to teach her parrot to talk. She keeps repeating, “Say ‘Hello!'” for hours. The parrot remains stubbornly silent.

Finally, nearing Rio, the man leans across the aisle, utterly exhausted. “Look,” he says to the parrot, “Just say ‘Hello’ already! I get off in two hours, and I’ve been looking forward to the silence!”

Witty Observation:

“Modern problems require modern solutions,” said the stressed mother on the bus. Clearly, her solution was outsourcing parental responsibilities to a complete stranger, one stop at a time.

Relating to Implied Cannibalism:

Did you know:

The word “cannibal” comes from “Caniba,” the name Christopher Columbus gave to the Carib people of the Caribbean, whom he mistakenly believed practiced cannibalism. So next time a mother threatens to give her child away on a bus, at least remember she is historically inaccurate.

Revised joke/observation:

The man leans over to the breastfeeding mother. “Hey, I understand that you’re in a difficult position, but if you do not intend on carrying out that threat, please do not call the man a “Caniba” without any proof.”

I hope these enrichments have added another layer of hilarity!