The chieftan of the tribe told them "You're not welcomed on this island. As punishement for tresspassing, we shall kill you and make canoe out of your skin. You can choose how you die."
The Japanese, to avoid shame, asked for a spear. He screamed "Long live the emperor!" and pierced himself.
The American, to avoid pain, asked for a gun from the ship. They brought it to him, with one bullet, so he screamed "Freedom for all!" and shoot himself.
The Pole asked for a fork. Surprised, they brought one and gave to him. He stabbed himself in the arm, then in the leg, than in the chest, then in the arm again, etc. After two hours terryfingly paiful stabs, he was all red, torn and bleeding, but still alive.
Then, after thousands different stabs, he finally pierced himself one last time, look chieftan in the eyes, scream "You won't make shit out of me!" and died.
Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Audacity
Three candidates – an experienced Japanese executive, an ambitious American entrepreneur, and a meticulous Polish accountant – find themselves facing a brutal interview panel for a single, highly coveted CFO position at a rapidly expanding tech startup.
The lead interviewer, a ruthless venture capitalist, addresses them: “Only one of you will get this job. To determine who truly deserves it, we will subject you to a test of your principles. Each of you must face a daunting ethical dilemma and declare your course of action. But be warned, your choices will have real-world consequences…for you.”
The Japanese executive, steeped in tradition, immediately proclaims: “To bring dishonor to my company is unthinkable. If faced with a situation demanding unethical accounting, I would commit seppuku with this company-issued stapler to preserve my honor.” He dramatically staples his tie to the table.
The American entrepreneur, brimming with confidence, boasts: “Ethical corners? Never! I’d hire a crisis PR firm, spin the story like it’s cutting-edge disruption, and then negotiate a sweet book deal about my ‘innovative approach to compliance.'” He winks.
The Polish accountant requests a stack of blank spreadsheets and a calculator. He spends the next hour meticulously filling them out, manipulating formulas, and rearranging figures. Finally, covered in paper cuts, sweating profusely, he slams the spreadsheets on the table and shouts, “You’ll NEVER find the discrepancies! I’ve buried them so deep, even Enron couldn’t hide this well. Now, TRY to fire me! I DARE you!” He then collapses from exhaustion.
Okay, let’s dissect this dark and slightly gruesome joke:
Core Joke Structure: The joke hinges on a “death wish” scenario with a national stereotype gag. Three men, each representing a nationality known for specific cultural values (honor, freedom, stubbornness), are given a choice of how they’ll die and be turned into canoes.
- Japanese: Chooses a noble, honorable suicide.
- American: Chooses a quick, heroic (in his mind) death.
- Pole: Exploits a loophole and acts in a way so that he’ll never die.
Key Elements:
- National Stereotypes: Honor (Japanese), Freedom/Quick Solution (American), Stubbornness/Defiance (Pole).
- Irony/Subversion: The Pole doesn’t want to die, so he takes a way that will never kill him, subverting expectations.
- Gallows Humor: The graphic description of the Pole’s prolonged, futile stabbing is meant to be darkly humorous.
- Cultural Conflict: The joke sets up a conflict between the islanders’ plan and the prisoners’ choices. The Pole utterly defeats the plan, but at the cost of his life.
Comedic Enrichment – New Joke/Observation:
Observation: You know, the islanders’ canoe-making plan seems inherently flawed. Even if they successfully skinned someone, how sea-worthy could a canoe made of stretched human skin actually be? Wouldn’t it just dissolve in the water? I think they really needed to consult with some naval engineers or at least watch a YouTube tutorial before implementing that policy. Maybe that’s why they were so easily foiled by the Pole – their whole plan was just… skin deep.
Why it works:
- It targets a previously unaddressed aspect of the joke: the implausibility of the premise.
- It’s grounded in a sort of “logical” analysis of the situation, contrasting with the absurdity of the original joke.
- It uses a pun on “skin deep” to highlight the superficiality and weakness of the islanders’ plan.