Tom is given a gun and taken to a door. “Inside this room,” the CIA agent says, “you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!”
Tom replies, “You can’t be serious? I could never shoot my wife!”
The CIA agent nods, then says, “You are not the right man for this job.”
Dick is given the same instructions, and he takes the gun and goes into the room. However, after a few moments, he emerges in tears and says, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife!”
The agent replies, “Then you don’t have what it takes for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it’s Harry’s turn. He is given the same instructions, takes the gun and goes into the room. Several shots are heard, then lots of screaming, crashing and banging. Eventually, Harry emerges, wiping sweat from his brow.
Harry throws the gun on the ground and exclaims, “That damn gun you gave me was loaded with blanks!”
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Interview
A massive tech company is hiring for a Senior Systems Administrator, and three candidates, Alice, Bob, and Carol, make it to the final, unconventional test.
Alice is given a server rack and told, "Inside this rack is the company’s mission-critical database. We need you to delete it permanently."
Alice replies, "Are you insane? I could never delete a mission-critical database!"
The hiring manager nods, then says, "You’re not the right fit for this role."
Bob is given the same instructions. He stares at the server rack, then hesitantly approaches it. After a few minutes, he emerges looking stressed and defeated. "I tried," he says, "but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. All that data!"
The hiring manager replies, "We appreciate your ethics. This position isn’t for you. Please leave your severance on the table."
Finally, it’s Carol’s turn. She’s given the same instructions, approaches the server rack, and within seconds, the server room is filled with the ear-splitting sound of a dozen hard drives grinding to a halt. Alarms blare, red lights flash, and smoke starts to billow out.
Carol emerges coughing, wiping soot from her face.
Carol throws a USB drive on the ground and exclaims, "That darn ‘Delete Everything’ script you gave me had a ‘Backup to Cloud’ flag set to ‘True’!"
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor using related facts and observations.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: The CIA is hiring an assassin and uses a disturbing "test" involving killing the applicant’s wife.
- Setup: Three candidates are presented, each with varying reactions to the task.
- Twist/Punchline: Harry, the successful candidate, reveals the "gun" was loaded with blanks, implying he had to beat his wife to make the test convincing. The humor arises from the unexpected escalation of violence and the implication of Harry’s extreme willingness to succeed.
- Core Elements: The CIA, assassinations, marital relationships, escalating violence, expectations of professional ruthlessness.
Humorous Enrichment:
Did you know that the CIA actually does have a sense of humor?
While they probably don’t run around staging mock spousal homicides (at least, we hope not), the CIA has released declassified documents containing jokes and satirical pieces created by its own employees. Imagine that memo: "Subject: Humor Improvement Initiative. Task Force: Morale. Recommendation: More assassination puns. Less existential dread."
New Joke Idea (Playing on CIA "Humor"):
A CIA recruiter is interviewing a potential asset.
"Okay," the recruiter says, "Tell me a joke."
The applicant pauses. "Why don’t scientists trust atoms?"
The recruiter shrugs. "I don’t know, why?"
The applicant leans in conspiratorially. "Because they make up everything!"
The recruiter sighs. "Good wordplay, but needs more… edge. And, ideally, should subtly demoralize a target demographic. Try again."
Witty Observation:
It’s interesting how the joke relies on the expectation of cold-bloodedness. The CIA agent seems less concerned about the moral implications of killing an innocent person and more interested in whether the applicant has the "right stuff" to follow orders, even absurdly immoral ones. Maybe the real test wasn’t about capability, but about lack of questioning. It’s a chilling thought, and perfect fodder for dark humor.
New Joke (dark humor):
Why was the CIA hiring process so difficult?
Because finding someone who could morally justify an assassination was easier than finding someone who could file the paperwork properly.
By focusing on the CIA, assassinations, marital relationships, escalating violence, and expectations of professional ruthlessness, we can create humorous content that relates back to the original joke while also introducing new elements and perspectives. This approach makes the humor richer and more engaging.