A demon there tells him he can choose from three different rooms to spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are being poked and prodded with sharp objects. It looks painful and there's plenty of screaming.
In the second room, people are forced to confront their greatest fears. Some are covered in spiders, others with snakes.
In the third room, everyone is covered head to toe in shit. They are also standing knee deep in shit.
He carefully considers all three, then decides the third room is the least painful.
Not three minutes after entering the room, a giant demon materializes.
"Alright everyone, break's over. Back on your heads!"
Joke Poo: The Internship
A bright-eyed college graduate dies and ends up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells him he can choose from three different internships to spend his afterlife gaining “experience.”
In the first internship, interns are constantly fetching coffee for demanding angels, dealing with mountains of paperwork, and hearing endless complaints. It looks exhausting and soul-crushing.
In the second internship, interns are forced to debug ancient code written by prophets. Some are battling cryptic errors, others dealing with legacy systems that crash every five minutes.
In the third internship, everyone is covered head to toe in glitter. They are also standing knee-deep in glitter.
He carefully considers all three, then decides the third room is the least stressful.
Not three minutes after entering the room, a booming voice echoes, “Alright everyone, the unicorn needs more sparkle! Back on your hooves!”
Okay, let’s dissect this delightful dip into demonic despair.
Elements of the Joke:
- The Setup: A common afterlife scenario (ending up in Hell) with a choice presented. This creates a sense of control and expectation of reasoned decision-making.
- The Distractors: The first two rooms are deliberately horrific and play on common fears (physical pain, phobias). They are designed to make the third option seem relatively benign.
- The Misdirection: The third room (covered in and standing in fecal matter) seems unpleasant but doable. The character chooses it, thinking he’s found the “least worst” option.
- The Twist: The “break’s over” punchline subverts expectations. The chosen room isn’t a static condition; it’s a task. It’s a darkly humorous take on the idea that even the “easy way out” in hell is still… hell. The humor comes from the sudden shift from passive suffering to active, gross, and demeaning labor.
- The Implied Irony: The man tried to optimize his suffering, only to have it backfire spectacularly. This highlights the futility of trying to bargain with the worst-case scenario.
Now, let’s enrich it with some factual or interesting tidbits:
Enrichment Idea 1: A New Joke (Playing on “Break Time”)
A programmer dies and ends up in IT Hell. A tiny devil with a pocket protector says, “Alright, you get to choose your eternity. Room 1 is fixing legacy COBOL code, Room 2 is debugging a single line of Javascript in Internet Explorer 6, and Room 3 is managing the printer queue.”
The programmer, weary from a lifetime of dealing with such horrors, chooses Room 3, thinking, “At least I can just reboot the printer and take a break.”
A giant, balding demon appears. “Alright, everyone, break’s over. Now you have to train the end-users!”
Why this works:
- It mirrors the original structure.
- It replaces the horrific scenarios with relatable IT nightmares.
- The twist (“Train the end-users!”) amplifies the suffering, as any IT professional will attest that this is often the real hell. It changes from a simple task to one that is never-ending and soul-crushing.
- COBOL still exists and remains in use for critical systems, it is even becoming a booming job market.
- Javascript is still regularly used for many websites around the world.
Enrichment Idea 2: Witty Observation/Did You Know
Did you know that according to Dante’s Inferno, some of the worst punishments in Hell are reserved for those who were indecisive and neutral in life? So, while our guy in the joke thinks he’s making a smart choice, the demon probably sees him as the perfect candidate for head-resting. After all, he couldn’t make up his mind in life, so now he can’t escape being someone else’s seat!
Why this works:
- It connects the joke to a well-known, classic depiction of Hell.
- It adds a layer of deeper irony: the man’s attempt at cleverness is exactly what condemns him.
- It’s a funny twist on what we would consider “sin.”
Enrichment Idea 3: A New, More Absurd Twist
…He carefully considers all three, then decides the third room is the least painful.
Not three minutes after entering the room, a giant demon materializes.
“Alright everyone, break’s over. Time to find all the lost contact lenses!”
Why this works:
- It maintains the “break’s over” punchline, but elevates the absurdity. The image of a mass of damned souls searching for contact lenses in excrement is both disturbing and darkly hilarious.
- It transforms the punishment from simple demeaning labor to a ridiculous, almost Sisyphean task. The task is impossible, and the pointlessness amplifies the torment.
- We can all agree, at some point, we have lost contact lenses, which adds a layer of relatability to the joke.
These are just a few examples, of course. The key is to identify the core elements of the original joke and then use factual information, witty observations, or simply escalating absurdity to build upon them. The goal is to amplify the humor and create something even more memorable.