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I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded

Posted on November 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have a lot of assholes at home

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled “Joke Poo: Remote Control Edition”:

Joke Poo: Remote Control Edition

I needed to buy batteries at the store, and the cashier asked, “Why are you buying so many batteries?” I responded, “I have a lot of channels at home.”

Alright, let’s dissect this joke and then see if we can squeeze some more comedic gold out of it.

Joke Analysis:

  • Setup: A mundane scenario – buying toilet paper at a store and being questioned about the quantity purchased.
  • Punchline: “I have a lot of assholes at home.”
  • Humor Mechanism: This joke relies on ambiguity and a double meaning. The questioner likely expects a practical reason (e.g., “I’m stocking up,” “There’s a sale,” “My family is large”). The response plays on the word “asshole,” using its insulting definition to create a funny, unexpected twist. The listener assumes the person meant literal assholes, not figurative ones.
  • Key Elements: Toilet paper, the word “asshole” (with its dual meaning), the social awkwardness of discussing bathroom habits.

Comedic Enrichment and New Humor:

Let’s take the “asshole” element and toilet paper and riff on that. I’ll focus on a “Did You Know?” fact that leads into a joke/observation:

“Did You Know?” & Joke:

  • Did You Know?: “The average person uses roughly 57 sheets of toilet paper per day. Now, if you divide that by the number of literal assholes the average person has…well, you can see why buying in bulk is essential. However, I find that when dealing with figurative assholes, toilet paper isn’t nearly as effective. In fact, some people find it easier to just use their words instead! So, if you ever find yourself surrounded by figurative assholes and someone questions your toilet paper consumption, you can always say “It’s for absorbing the drama they create. I call it ’emotional spill control.'”

Explanation of the New Humor:

  • Leveraging the Fact: The “57 sheets per day” fact provides a grounding in reality and a setup for the absurd comparison.
  • Re-emphasizing the Ambiguity: The repeated use of “literal” vs “figurative” assholes reinforces the original joke’s core humor.
  • Expanding the Meaning: The bit about emotional spill control adds a layer of observation about dealing with difficult people and spins the scenario into a comical response. It’s absurd because it’s taking something usually used on butt holes and connecting it to emotions.
  • Punchline Structure: The final sentence is a punchline. The setup is: “someone questions your toilet paper consumption.” The final sentence is the punchline.
  • Toilet paper: Instead of using toilet paper for the actual “butthole” part of our body, we’re using it for the figurative “assholes” in our life, their drama.

The goal is to take a funny statement and expand on it without losing the original joke’s point, which is the ambuguity of what “assholes” mean.

I hope this works!

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