After many hours, a nurse comes out to see the first coach.
"Your wife just finished giving birth! Both she and the baby are fine! A healthy baby boy!" the nurse said. "But… I've never seen a baby like yours…"
"What do you mean?" the coach asked.
"Well," the nurse replied, "your son growled and clawed at us like a… like a wild cat…"
When the coach heard this, they chuckled before replying,
"Well, that makes sense! After all, I work for the Florida Panthers!"
The husband then follows the nurse to see their wife and son, and after a while they come out to see the second coach.
"I'm so happy to tell you that your wife had a beautiful daughter! Yet her behaviour is also… very peculiar…"
"How so?" the coach asked.
"Well, you see," the nurse became hesitant to reply, "they started… quacking… almost like they were-"
"A duck?" the coach interrupted.
"Well… Yes…" the nurse confirmed.
The coach could only laugh in response.
"Well what do you know?!" they beamed. "She really is the daughter of the coach of the Anaheim Ducks!"
But while the second coach was gleeful, the third coach was white in the face, and immediately began to rush out of the delivery unit.
"Where you do think you're going?" the nurse asked.
"To call an exorcist!" the third coach yelled out. "I'm the coach of the New Jersey Devils!"
Joke Poo: Three Plumbers
Three plumbers are waiting outside a customer’s bathroom. The pipes have been making strange noises all morning and Mrs. Higgins is at her wit’s end.
After a while, the first plumber comes out, looking perplexed.
“I fixed the rattling,” he says, “But your toilet… it’s doing something I’ve never seen before.”
“What is it?” Mrs. Higgins asks, concerned.
“Well,” the plumber says, “every time you flush, it shouts ‘Yahoo!'”
Mrs. Higgins bursts out laughing. “Oh, that’s just classic! We used to live in Sunnyvale, California. I bet my husband installed a Yahoo! Pipes.”
The second plumber goes in and comes out a while later.
“I’ve managed to stop the gurgling,” he announces, “but now, every time you turn on the faucet, it makes a sound like a dolphin singing.”
Mrs. Higgins smiles. “Ah, that’s my brother-in-law’s handiwork. He works in Miami and sometimes installs special edition Miami Dolphins plumbing systems.”
The third plumber, pale as a ghost, runs screaming out of the house.
“Where are you going?!” Mrs. Higgins shouts after him.
“I’m going to find a priest!” the plumber yells. “I just spent the past hour wrestling with a sentient Satanic Pipes!!!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor-enhancing facts and create a new comedic bit.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: Three NHL coaches are in the delivery room. Their teams are the Florida Panthers, the Anaheim Ducks, and the New Jersey Devils.
- Setup: Each coach’s baby exhibits traits related to their team’s name.
- Punchline(s): The unexpected animalistic behaviors of the babies are directly linked to the team names. The final punchline relies on the negative connotation of “Devils,” suggesting a demonic child.
- Humor Source: The humor derives from:
- Absurdity: Babies behaving like animals based on team logos.
- Wordplay/Puns: The team names are used literally to explain the babies’ behaviors.
- Stereotyping: The New Jersey Devils coach assuming the worst due to the team’s name.
- Recognition: The joke relies on the audience knowing the NHL teams mentioned.
Fact Injection and Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the New Jersey Devils. Fun facts:
- The New Jersey Devils were originally the Kansas City Scouts and then the Colorado Rockies before becoming the Devils in 1982.
- The team’s name was chosen after a public contest, referencing the Jersey Devil, a legendary creature said to inhabit the Pine Barrens of New Jersey.
- The Jersey Devil is described in folklore as a bipedal creature with hooves, wings, and a horse-like head. Some descriptions include horns and a forked tail.
New Comedic Bit:
Scenario: The Devils coach, pale and sweating, returns after the exorcism. He’s nervously pacing outside the delivery room. The nurse approaches him cautiously.
Nurse: “Coach, everything is alright now. The exorcism… uh… seemed to work. Your wife and… child are resting.”
Coach: (Wipes brow with a trembling hand) “Thank goodness. I was so worried. I mean, horns and hooves on a newborn? That’s not something you see every day, even in Newark! I mean, honestly, maybe we should rebrand the team. The New Jersey… Blue Jays? Pigeons? Something less… Satanic?”
Nurse: “Well, actually, Coach… there was one slight side effect from the exorcism…”
Coach: (Eyes widening) “Side effect? What now? Does he speak in Latin? Does he only eat brimstone?”
Nurse: “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just that… well… Apparently, the only thing that calmed him down during the whole ordeal was when we showed him old footage of the Kansas City Scouts. Now he keeps asking why his jersey isn’t blue!”
Explanation of Humor:
- Building on the Absurdity: We amplify the initial premise by showing the aftermath of the exorcism.
- Juxtaposition: We contrast the horror the coach initially expected with a mundane, almost pathetic outcome (wanting to be the Kansas City Scouts).
- Historical Callback: The reference to the Kansas City Scouts and their old colors introduces a new layer of absurdity – the baby is nostalgic for a forgotten, unsuccessful era of the franchise.
- Irony: The coach is trying to distance himself from the “devil” image, but the “cure” is even more embarrassing (a fascination with a failed team).
This new bit takes the original’s premise and layers on additional humor through historical callbacks, character development, and amplified absurdity. It retains the joke’s reliance on knowledge of hockey but aims for a more complex and layered comedic effect.