The doctor wanted to examine the old man first. After examining him, the doctor said, "I'm surprised—you're in such excellent health!"
The old man replied, "I attribute it to my good and clean life." "Your good and clean life?" "Yes," said the old man. "I have lived such a good and clean life, the Lord Himself turns the light on for me when I use the bathroom—and the Lord Himself turns the light off for me when I leave."
"The Lord Himself did this?" the doctor asked. "Yes," insisted the old man.
The doctor nodded politely and said, "I will need to examine your wife next." The old man nodded and left the room.
The doctor then examined the wife. After completing his examination, he said, "You are in excellent health." "How is my husband?" the wife asked.
"Physically, he's fine," the doctor replied, "but I'm worried about his mental health." "Why?" the wife asked.
"He insists the Lord Himself turns the light on for him when he uses the bathroom—and the Lord Himself turns the light off when he leaves.
"The wife shouted, "My God! The damn fool is peeing in the fridge!"
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Visit
A programmer and his wife called tech support about their smart home system.
The tech support guy decided to troubleshoot the programmer first. After running diagnostics, he said, “I’m impressed—your system is running flawlessly! Everything’s perfectly configured.”
The programmer replied, “I attribute it to my elegant and efficient code.” “Your elegant and efficient code?” “Yes,” said the programmer. “I’ve written such clean, streamlined code that the AI automatically orders me a pizza when I get in the shower—and cancels the order when I get out.”
“The AI does this automatically?” the tech support guy asked. “Yes,” insisted the programmer.
The tech support guy nodded politely and said, “I will need to check your wife’s smart garden system next.” The programmer nodded and left the room.
The tech support guy then examined the wife’s smart garden setup. After completing his diagnostics, he said, “Your garden system is excellent. Healthy soil, perfect watering schedules.” “How is my husband’s system?” the wife asked.
“Technically, it’s brilliant,” the tech support guy replied, “but I’m worried about the practical application.” “Why?” the wife asked.
“He insists the AI automatically orders him a pizza when he gets in the shower—and cancels the order when he gets out.”
The wife shouted, “My God! That’s why we have thirty cancelled pepperoni pizzas piling up on the porch!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: The joke relies on a misunderstanding stemming from a man’s eccentric explanation for his good health and the doctor’s subsequent concern for his sanity. The wife provides the punchline by revealing the literal (and absurd) truth behind the man’s claim.
- Key Elements:
- The Exaggeration: The man’s claim about divine bathroom lighting is clearly an exaggeration (or delusion).
- The Misdirection: The doctor and the audience assume a mental health issue.
- The Literal Interpretation: The wife’s explanation provides a literal (and ridiculous) answer that subverts the expected meaning.
- Juxtaposition: The joke’s humor comes from the gap between what the man implies and what is actually happening.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the idea of divine intervention in mundane tasks, specifically related to bathroom etiquette.
New Joke/Observation:
A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, I need a strong drink! I’ve been blessed!”
The bartender, polishing a glass, replies, “Blessed? How so?”
The man sighs, “Every time I sit down to… you know… handle my business, angels descend and sing a majestic hymn. It’s beautiful, but frankly, it’s making me self-conscious!”
The bartender raises an eyebrow. “Angels, huh? And what happens when you’re done?”
The man whispers, leaning in conspiratorially, “That’s the worst part. They refuse to flush! They say it’s ‘God’s work’ and should be preserved!”
Why this works:
- Plays on the theme: It extends the original joke’s theme of divine involvement in bathroom activities.
- Elevates the Absurdity: Instead of just turning on the light, angels are now performing a full-blown concert and refusing to flush, amplifying the ridiculousness.
- Modern Twist: The humor stems from the juxtaposition of a heavenly choir with the mundane (and somewhat gross) act of using the toilet. It also touches on contemporary ecological concerns.
- Character-driven: The self-conscious man adds a relatable human element to the divine absurdity.
Alternatively, a “Did you know” that capitalizes on the humor of the original joke:
Amusing “Did You Know”:
Did you know that the ancient Romans believed their toilets were guarded by the goddess Cloacina? They even had shrines dedicated to her! So, the next time you’re in the bathroom, remember, you’re not just sitting on a porcelain throne; you’re potentially in the presence of a powerful deity… or, like in that old joke, just using the fridge.
Why this works:
- Connects to the joke: Directly references the “old joke.”
- Provides factual basis: It introduces the real historical fact about Roman toilets and Cloacina.
- Witty Juxtaposition: The humor comes from contrasting the high-minded idea of a toilet goddess with the low-brow scenario of the joke. It also implies the Romans knew a thing or two about needing divine intervention in the loo!