They are there to receive the man’s test results. When the doctor says he is ready to see the man, he is too nervous and sends his wife in to find out the news.
She sits with the doctor, who tells her “The news is not good. Your husband has a terminal illness. But there is hope! You can save his life if you have sex with him every day."
The woman leaves the doctor’s office and her husband rushes up to her, asking “What did he say???"
His wife replies, “You’re gonna die."
Joke Poo: The Dog’s Diagnosis
A vet and a dog owner are in the examination room, waiting for the results of the dog’s stool sample analysis. The owner, anxious, begs the vet to tell him the news indirectly.
The vet sighs and says, “Okay, I’ll be blunt. The analysis isn’t great. Your dog has… issues.”
The owner wrings his hands, “But is there any hope? Can he be cured?”
The vet hesitates, then says, “Well, there is one unconventional treatment. It’s… intensive. To put it mildly, you’d need to clean up after him constantly, even more than you do now, give him only bland food, and take him outside more than every other hour.”
The owner’s eyes light up. “And will that save him?!”
The vet shakes his head grimly, “Nah, he’s gonna be shitting all over the place and I don’t know why you brought it here when you knew this was going to happen.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- Setting: Doctor’s office, a place associated with serious news and medical authority.
- Premise: Man’s fear leading to his wife receiving his test results.
- Twist: The doctor’s unusual “treatment” recommendation (daily sex).
- Punchline: The wife’s brutally honest and misleading summary (“You’re gonna die.”), omitting the ‘life-saving’ aspect of the treatment. The humor comes from the stark contrast between the doctor’s (albeit odd) optimism and the wife’s utter lack of it.
Analysis: The joke relies on the unexpected juxtaposition of a serious medical diagnosis with a seemingly absurd “cure.” The wife’s delivery amplifies the humor by completely misinterpreting the doctor’s instructions, focusing only on the negative outcome and omitting the solution. This creates dark humor.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s play with the idea of “sex as medicine” and the wife’s interpretation skills:
Amusing “Did You Know?”
“Did you know that in ancient Roman medicine, a poultice made of crushed beetle mixed with goose fat was sometimes prescribed for… well, let’s just say the Romans took a very holistic approach to health. So, the next time your doctor suggests something unconventional, be thankful it’s not that. And definitely ask for a second opinion before involving goose fat.”
New Joke (Playing off Misinterpretation):
A similar couple visits their doctor. The doctor examines the man and says to the wife, “He needs complete bed rest and absolutely no stress for the next month. Make sure he has three hot meals a day, everything done for him, and indulge his every whim.”
The wife walks out to her husband, who asks anxiously, “Well, what did the doctor say?”
The wife sighs, “He said to start making funeral arrangements.”
(Comedic observation) In the original joke, we can assume the doctor was being facetious in his “cure”. The humour is in the subversion of our understanding of what doctors do. In a world of increasingly niche medicine, it would be funny to be a doctor who specialises in “sex cures”.
I hope that gives you a chuckle!