When I was about five or six years old my parents were in the midst of a separation and eventual divorce. On weekends my mom would take me to her parents’ (my Me-Mom and Pop-Pop) house. I developed a great relationship with my Pop-Pop. He taught me how to throw a ball, shoot a gun, basic carpentry, respect for nature, and an appreciation for relics of the past.
When he was 17 he joined the Navy. “If I’m going to war, I’d rather be on a ship than walk.”
He was a collector of many things that he felt were important. A Japanese rifle (he served in the Pacific Theater in WWII), a really cool knife that had what seemed to be the Virgin Mary as the handle, some Playboy magazines that I found under the mattress in the second bedroom, and many old coins. He had books of coins. Wheat pennies, Buffalo nickels… his pride was a 1943 steel penny. He had coins from all the mints, from most years… San Fran, Denver, Philly. He was so excited about the release of the state quarters back in 1999. I was born in Delaware, the first state (and first coin). He lived in New Jersey (the third coin released after Pennsylvania).
And then he died in June. I occasionally think about how much he would’ve loved collecting quarters from each state and arranging them into a book…
He would be gutted to learn that the mints no longer make pennies.
If he were alive today he would say that The United States has stopped making cents.
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, riffing on the original’s structure and sentimentality, but with a different angle:
Joke Poo: My Grandmother
My Grandmother, in her late 80s, always had a special connection with technology. Back in the 90’s, when she saw the internet for the first time, she thought it was fascinating. She had a computer, and would video call me all the time. She was a collector of email forwards, those chain letters with dire warnings about viruses and opportunities to win free cruises. She hoarded them in meticulously organized folders, categorized by level of threat and potential reward. She was so excited about the release of each new iPhone, “It’s like a smaller, even more powerful phone!” she would say. She lived and breathed the idea of progress.
She would be gutted to learn that Apple is discontinuing the headphone jack.
If she were alive today she would say that Apple has stopped making sense.
Okay, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gems we can unearth.
Analysis:
- Core Concept: The joke revolves around the double meaning of “cents.” It plays on the literal meaning (pennies, the monetary unit) and the figurative meaning (sense, logic, reason).
- Humorous Premise: The grandfather, a coin collector with a deep appreciation for the past, would be upset to learn that pennies are no longer being minted. This is then used as a setup for the pun.
- Key Elements:
- The Grandfather: A WWII veteran, coin collector, lover of history.
- Pennies: Specifically, the discontinuation of penny production.
- “Cents”: The pun hinges on the double meaning.
Enrichment and New Humor:
Let’s leverage these elements for a bit of comedic spin:
Option 1: A Witty Observation
- “It’s ironic, isn’t it? My grandfather fought in a war to protect American values, and now America’s giving up on the very thing he collected – cents. I guess you could say the enemy finally won…inflation.”
Why it works:
- It directly references the grandfather’s military service and passion, adding a layer of irony.
- It links the penny’s demise to inflation, a contemporary issue related to economics.
Option 2: A “Did You Know?” with a twist
- “Did you know that the US Mint stopped producing steel pennies in 1944? My Pop-Pop would probably say it’s all been downhill since then. Actually, knowing him, he’d probably try to hoard all the modern pennies, convinced they’d become ‘historical artifacts’ when the US switches to a barter system dominated by bottle caps and dogecoin.”
Why it works:
- It provides a real historical fact that connects to the original joke.
- It adds a touch of absurdity by suggesting the grandfather’s reaction would be to prepare for a post-currency world.
- It is relevant, because some countries no longer use pennies.
Option 3: A follow-up Joke
Grandson: Pop-pop, you won’t believe this. They aren’t just stopping the penny, they’re talking about getting rid of the dollar bill too!
Pop-pop: What?! What are they going to replace it with?
Grandson: Crypto!
Pop-pop: Crypto? That’s it! The country’s gone crazy. Guess I’ll just start collecting bottle caps… they’re worth more than Congress now anyways!
Why it works:
- It expands on the joke’s original premise.
- It includes a character that fits the grandfather from the original joke.
I hope these alternative jokes and observations amplify the original’s humor while staying faithful to the core elements.