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the “fast food” industry is a scam.

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

their food does NOT make you faster.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, titled:

Joke Poo: Organic Produce

Their advertisements make you think eating organic vegetables will make you more down to Earth…

…but I’m still floating on student debt.

Alright, let’s dive into this nugget of comedic gold!

Analysis of the Original Joke:

  • Core Concept: The joke hinges on a literal interpretation of "fast food." It exploits the ambiguity in the phrase, where "fast" is commonly understood as quick preparation and service, but the joke plays on the literal meaning of increasing physical speed.
  • Humor Type: This is primarily a pun-based joke, relying on wordplay and unexpected juxtaposition. It’s a simple, observational joke with a dash of absurdity.
  • Target: The joke targets the common understanding and associations with the fast food industry. Everyone knows fast food is about quick service, not athletic enhancement. The humor comes from pointing out the obvious disparity.
  • Effectiveness: It’s a relatively low-effort joke, but it’s relatable and easily understood. It relies on the universal experience of knowing what fast food is and the absurdity of expecting it to make you faster.

Key Elements:

  1. "Fast Food": The central phrase, acting as the foundation for the pun.
  2. Speed/Velocity: The literal interpretation of "fast," associated with physical speed.
  3. Expectation vs. Reality: The contrast between the advertised convenience of fast food and the unrealistic expectation of increased athleticism.

Humorous Enrichment & New Joke Generation:

Let’s use the "fast food" concept and the idea of speed to generate some related humor using factual tidbits:

Factual Tidbit Inspiration:

  • Cheetah Speed: Cheetahs are the fastest land animals, reaching speeds of up to 75 mph.
  • Usain Bolt’s Speed: Usain Bolt’s average ground speed during his 100m world record was around 23.35 mph.
  • Slowest Fast Food: Some "fast food" preparation processes are anything but fast, depending on the ingredient preparation. Sourcing, importing, and even the aging of ingredients (like cheese) can take considerable time.

New Joke/Observation 1: The ‘Did You Know?’ Angle

"Did you know that the average cheetah can run three times faster than a delivery driver bringing you your ‘fast food’? So, technically, wild game is fast food… for cheetahs."

Explanation: This plays on the concept of speed, comparing a cheetah to a delivery driver bringing your fast food. It makes it a bit absurd by redefining fast food as "fast food for cheetahs."

New Joke/Observation 2: The Menu Parody

"Introducing the ‘Usain Bolt Burger’ – Our only burger that won’t slow you down! (May still cause digestive discomfort. Results not typical. Side effects may include the sudden urge to wear gold track spikes)."

Explanation: This is a menu-based parody using Usain Bolt, the world’s fastest human, to highlight the joke about "fast food" not making you faster. The disclaimer adds to the humor by acknowledging the unrealistic expectation.

New Joke/Observation 3: The Sarcastic Observation

"The only thing ‘fast’ about ‘fast food’ is how quickly I regret eating it."

Explanation: This is a simple, relatable observation that reinforces the "fast" in "fast food" relates to how quickly you get the food, but also how quickly it can make you feel bad.

The goal with the enrichment is to add layers to the original joke, making it more thought-provoking or generating additional laughter by playing with related ideas and factual information.

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