His wife having passed away a Yorkshireman went to the local monumental mason in order to acquire a suitable headstone in time for the funeral. The mason asked for suggestions regarding a suitable inscription. The customer considered the problem and decided that, as his late wife had been quite religious, name, dates etc. and “She was thine” would be suitable. He agreed to return in two days and paid extra for the master’s rapid service. When he came back he was shown the stone by the apprentice mason and examined it. He demanded to see the master and complained that the stone had obviously been prepared by the apprentice. “How can you tell” he was asked. “Look at it man, it says” “She was thin” “THIN!” “He’s only gone and forgotten the e”! The mason apologised profusely and said it can be fixed by that very afternoon if the customer would return then. Well, when he returned to look at the work he went into an absolute rage and shouted at the master that he must have given this important task to the apprentice again. “How can you tell” asked the master. “Well”, raved the customer, “now it says” “Eeee, she was thin”.
Okay, here’s a "Joke Poo" based on the headstone gag, trying to keep the same structure and kind of regional humor:
Joke Poo: GPS Guidance
A tech-illiterate farmer from the Scottish Highlands, old Angus MacTavish, finally relents and buys a GPS navigation system for his tractor. Excited, he programs in the location of his favorite pub in the next village over, "The Drunken Haggis."
The next day, he sets off across his vast, craggy farm. After an hour of bouncing through fields and over streams, he stops, completely bewildered.
He calls the tech support line. "Aye, I’ve got yer GPS here," he booms, "and it’s leading me completely wrong! I put in ‘The Drunken Haggis,’ just like you showed me."
The tech support agent says, "Can you describe what the screen is showing you?"
Angus sighs. "Well, it says, ‘Take the sheep track in 50 yards.’"
The agent pauses. "Okay. I think I understand the problem. There is an error in the voice recognition software. ‘Sheep track’ sounds very like ‘Sharp track’ to our system."
Angus drives off to try again, but calls back later in an even worse mood "It is still no’ right, the directions are totally wrong!"
The agent suggests he checks the settings for how the directions are delivered. After a bit of searching, the agent asks "How are your directions given to you?"
Angus replies "By Voice… or ewe’s voice as its called on the settings menu."
Alright, let’s dissect this Yorkshire headstone hiccup!
Key Elements of the Joke:
- The Yorkshireman: Stereotypically frugal and blunt, which plays into the humor of his precise and somewhat miserly concern over the inscription.
- The Headstone Inscription: The core of the joke revolves around the subtle difference between "thine" and "thin" and the Yorkshire dialect’s addition of "Eeee."
- The Misunderstanding: The joke hinges on the monumental mason’s (or his apprentice’s) misunderstanding/misinterpretation of the desired inscription.
- The Dialect: The Yorkshire dialect adds another layer of humor, emphasizing the local color and the pronunciation differences that exacerbate the confusion.
- Irony: The man wants to honor his wife’s religiosity, but the botched inscription turns it into a commentary on her weight.
Comedic Enrichment Attempt:
Based on the original joke, here’s a "Did You Know?" factoid that tries to enhance the humor:
Did you know?
Yorkshire stone, a popular choice for headstones, is notoriously hard. So hard, in fact, that the apprentice in the joke likely spent more time sharpening his chisel than actually carving the inscription! Perhaps, in his frustration, he simply thinned the "e" right off the "thine," and the Yorkshireman’s "Eeee" was just a desperate attempt to get a chisel and do it himself. After all, they say a Yorkshireman could sharpen a knife on a butter pat. (And likely would, to save on whetstone expenses!).