Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

A sailor was caught AWOL

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer shouted an ordered to the sailor, saying,“You get a broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning, or it's the brig for you!”The sailor picked up a broom and commenced performing his charge. As he began to sweep, a Tern landed on the broom handle. The lad picked the Tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.The Tern left, only to return and land once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine over and over again. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted bird returned. In the morning, the chief petty officer came to check the sailor and his work.“What in the heck have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?” barked the chief.The sailor replied, “Honest, chief, I tossed a Tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!”

Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Predicament

A plumber was called to fix a clogged drain in a particularly…fragrant bathroom at about 3 am. The homeowner, a gruff old man, caught him trying to sneak a peek at the source of the clog. Upon hearing the plumber’s lame explanation for his curiosity, the homeowner shouted an order, saying, "You get a plunger and clear every… thing in that toilet bowl by morning, or it’s no pay for you!"

The plumber picked up the plunger and commenced performing his duty. As he began to plunge, a Turd landed on the plunger head. The plumber flicked the Turd off the plunger head, giving it a toss. The Turd left, only to return and land once again on the plunger head. The plumber went through the same routine over and over again. He couldn’t get any unclogging done because he could only plunge once or twice before the blasted turd returned.

In the morning, the homeowner came to check the plumber and his work. "What in the heck have you been doing all night? That toilet is no clearer than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, plumber?" barked the old man.

The plumber replied, "Honest, sir, I tossed a Turd all night and couldn’t plunge a thing!"

Alright, let’s dive into this nautical nugget of humor.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Setup: A sailor gets caught AWOL and is given a ridiculous punishment: sweeping an anchor chain. This sets up the inherent absurdity.
  • Central Pun: The punchline hinges on the double meaning of "Tern" (a seabird) and "turn" (an attempt). The sailor claims he couldn’t "sweep a link" because he was endlessly tossing a "Tern" (the bird).
  • Humor Source: The humor derives from the play on words, the sailor’s clever (if ultimately unsuccessful) excuse, and the Chief Petty Officer’s frustration at the blatant avoidance of duty. It relies on a bit of naval knowledge, and the understanding that cleaning anchor chain is a pointless task.

Key Elements:

  • Sailor: Represents resourcefulness, but here, also laziness.
  • Anchor Chain: Symbolizes a heavy, tedious, and never-ending task.
  • Chief Petty Officer: Authority figure, enforcer of discipline.
  • Tern: The unexpected element that allows the pun to work.
  • Pun (Tern/Turn): The engine of the joke.

Comedic Enrichment: "Did You Know" Edition

Given the ‘Tern’ element, let’s play on the absurdity of the situation with some real Tern facts:

"Did you know that Arctic Terns have the longest migration of any bird, flying from pole to pole each year? That’s like your excuse, sailor! Only instead of a few hours AWOL, they’re dodging responsibility across the entire planet! So next time you’re ‘too busy tossing Terns’ to sweep an anchor chain, remember, even the most dedicated traveler in the world actually gets somewhere!"

Explanation of the Enrichment:

  • Connects to the Joke: The "Did You Know" directly refers to the bird (Tern) featured in the original joke.
  • Amplifies the Absurdity: By juxtaposing the Tern’s incredible journey with the sailor’s absurd excuse, we highlight the laziness and absurdity of the situation.
  • Adds a Layer of Irony: The irony is that the sailor thinks he’s being clever, while his actions are rendered even more ridiculous when compared to the tireless journey of the bird he’s claiming to be preoccupied with.
  • Maintains Naval Context: It fits within the naval context of the joke by addressing the sailor directly, and alluding to the original scenario.

Bonus – A New Joke Setup:

"A Chief Petty Officer walks into a bird sanctuary…" (This sets up a premise to leverage the knowledge that birds can get in the way.)

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My Swedish car broke down today.
  • 2 Economists are walking down country side
  • My grandma told me the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  • You really got to hand it to short people.
  • Someone stole my car, but left an old cellphone behind.
  • Yesterday my internet was down. I noticed a woman sitting on my sofa
  • A man tells his doctor …
  • My doctor is amazed by my level of fitness.
  • A young mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
  • During the second World War, two allied soldiers were captured for interrogation by the Germans and sent to the prison camp Luft Stalag 13
  • “What’s your name, boy?” Cop asked the young man.
  • I watch porn for the same reason I watch travel documentaries
  • What do you call a promiscuous woman that is mathematically inclined
  • Met an emotionally unstable Polar bear attracted to both genders thst can live in both the North Pole and the South
  • They say that if you rest one of your balls on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the ball will eventually be sucked inside.
  • I recently had to see a proctologist because I was experiencing a sharp pain in my arse
  • A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.
  • Karma is a weird name…
  • Prison break..
  • Two girls are in the farm field stealing carrots…
  • There’s a Soulja Boy concert on PBS tonight.
  • Let’s go to the zoo
  • A Geordie was so devoted to his pet dog that when it died
  • A virgin young man meets a priest
  • An old lady goes to the dentist. Sits down, drops panties, and lifts legs…
  • A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.
  • A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him!
  • A woman in a supermarket watched as a grandfather struggled to control his badly behaved grandson.
  • A teenage boy was playing in his room on his computer when his grandfather came in and sat on the bed.
  • As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the pain! I won’t make it! Don’t! CAN’T! WON’T!!”
  • A grandmother takes her grandson to the beach
  • My non-binary friend is pregnant and they’re having a gender reveal party next week.
  • A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”
  • A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight.
  • Beethoven died and they buried him near the church.
  • My wife says I never listen
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
  • A man gets arrested by a lady cop …
  • What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
  • I’ve decided to write a book about all of the things I should’ve done in my life.
  • Dad shocked
  • Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!
  • My ex was so greedy man it was unbelievable! You give her an inch
  • [Long Joke] A dead body was found in the lake.
  • A 7-year-old & 4-year-old are in their bedroom.
  • A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks!
  • Free Sex with Fill-Up!
  • Joe goes to a fortune teller and she tells him he’ll have unspeakable grief in 12 years.
  • My friend and I make frequent conjugal visits to a women’s prison, to remind the inmates what it’s like to have a selfless guy go down on them.
  • A drunk guy is showing his mates his new apartment

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme