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A man went into a large department store.

Posted on June 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

He nervously walked up to the woman behind the counter of the ladies lingerie section, and with a soft voice, said to her, "Excuse me madam, I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"Certainly sir. What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquired the man, not understanding what she meant. "There's more than one?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed him a range of bras in every shape, size colour and material imaginable.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four main styles of bras to choose from," she said, "The cop, the soldier, the judge or the lawyer. Which would you prefer?"

Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, "Well it's quite simple. The cop serves and protects, the soldier defends against foreign invasion, the judge makes sure everything is equal and balanced; while the lawyer blows everything out of proportion, giving a false sense of security."

Joke Poo: The Florist’s Bouquet

A gnome shuffled into a bustling flower shop, his beard nearly sweeping the floor. He approached the elven florist behind the counter, a look of utter bewilderment on his face. "Greetings! I wish to procure a bouquet for my beloved, but I’m quite unfamiliar with the finer points of floral arrangements."

"Of course, dear customer!" chirped the florist. "What sort of bouquet did you have in mind?"

The gnome blinked. "Sort? Are there different sorts?"

The florist gestured around the shop, displaying a riot of colors and textures. "Indeed! Though amidst this wondrous array, there are really only four essential bouquet styles: The Programmer, the Historian, the Therapist, and the Politician. Which speaks to you?"

The gnome scratched his head, completely lost. "And what are the distinctions between these…bouquet archetypes?"

The florist smiled knowingly. "Ah, a crucial question! The Programmer takes meticulous care, arranging only perfectly matching flowers in a logical, efficient design. The Historian painstakingly recreates bouquets from bygone eras, each bloom chosen for its historical significance. The Therapist offers a comforting and intuitive arrangement, each flower meant to soothe and heal the recipient’s soul. And the Politician…" she paused dramatically, "…the Politician’s bouquet promises exquisite beauty and enduring fragrance, while secretly being filled with wilting weeds and flowers grown in a petri dish."

Okay, let’s dissect this joke and see what we can wring out of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A man, clearly out of his depth, needs to buy a bra for his wife in a large department store. This establishes the fish-out-of-water scenario.
  • The Twist/Punchline: The saleslady introduces the bizarre and humorous "bra types" based on professions and their stereotypical characteristics: Cop, Soldier, Judge, and Lawyer. The humor comes from the unexpected association and the satirical descriptions of each profession’s perceived roles.
  • Humor Type: The humor is based on a combination of:
    • Surrealism: The idea of bras being categorized by professions is absurd.
    • Satire: The descriptions of the professions are satirical pokes at their perceived functions and flaws.
    • Irony: The man expects a simple transaction, but encounters a baffling and humorous classification system.
    • Stereotypes: The joke relies on established stereotypes (e.g., lawyers exaggerating).

Key Elements:

  • The Inexperienced Man: His naiveté and bewilderment are crucial.
  • The Knowledgeable, Wry Saleslady: She’s the catalyst for the joke, delivering the unexpected classification system with a straight face (implied).
  • The Professions: Cop, Soldier, Judge, Lawyer.
  • The Bra/Lingerie Context: The setting grounds the absurdity.

Comedic Enrichment – Witty Observation & New Joke

Based on the original joke, I find the legal description the funniest. Let’s play with this.

Witty Observation:

  • "You know, choosing the right bra is like choosing the right lawyer. You want something that offers support and protection, but you’re secretly worried it’s just inflating the situation."

New Joke:

A woman walks into a bra store, frustrated. "I need a new bra," she tells the saleswoman. "But none of them ever fit right. They’re either too tight, too loose, or they give me this weird uni-boob look."

The saleswoman smiles knowingly. "Ah, you’re in the wrong aisle. For a perfect fit, you need to try our political bras."

The woman raises an eyebrow. "Political bras?"

"Absolutely," the saleswoman says. "We have the ‘Democrat’ – full of promises and support but ultimately ineffective. The ‘Republican’ – rigid, restrictive, and trying to push things back to the good old days. The ‘Independent’ – claims to offer a fresh perspective, but usually just sags in the middle."

The woman thinks for a moment. "So, what’s your best seller?"

The saleswoman leans in conspiratorially. "Honestly? The ‘Lobbyist’ bra. It’s extremely supportive, influences all the right figures, and somehow manages to always get exactly what it wants."

Todays SH1T Jokes

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