Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

Guys eyesight starts failing and he goes to the doctor

Posted on June 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor does a bunch of tests and says

I’ve got good news and bad news….

The guy says give me the good news first ….

The doc says …..

You’re getting a new dog

Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version:

Joke Poo: The Promotion

A programmer’s coding skills start declining rapidly. He goes to his manager, worried.

The manager reviews the code and says, "I have good news and bad news…"

The programmer says, "Lay the good news on me first."

The manager says… "You’re getting a new position: Manager of Documentation."

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then inject some comedic vitamins.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: A man’s eyesight is failing.
  • Setup: He visits a doctor who has good and bad news. The man chooses to hear the good news first.
  • Punchline: "You’re getting a new dog."
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor lies in the incongruity and unexpected twist. We expect medical solutions for failing eyesight (glasses, surgery), but the good news is a canine companion, implying a guide dog is needed. The absurdity is heightened by the phrase "you’re getting a new dog" which could also be said to someone who wants a new dog, not someone needs a new dog.

Key Elements:

  • Eyesight/Vision: The medical aspect, the sense of sight.
  • Doctor/Medical Setting: The context of healthcare and diagnosis.
  • Dog (Guide Dog Implied): The unexpected solution/consequence.
  • Good News/Bad News Trope: A classic setup for a humorous reveal.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s use a "Did You Know?" approach, adding a layer of absurdity playing on the ‘guide dog’ angle:

Did you know?

The average guide dog, upon learning its human’s vision is failing, secretly starts practicing parallel parking years in advance. They’ve even formed a union – "Canine Chauffeurs Local 3: Barking Drivers of America" – demanding hazard pay for navigating aggressive squirrels and rogue Roomba vacuums. Their dental plan is ruff, though.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A wealthy, old-fashioned, Southern family lives near a new army base.
  • Mom, how did we get rich?
  • I told my girlfriend I was leaving her.
  • The chairman of a big company found his car wouldn’t start, so he called the car pool
  • My Swedish car broke down today.
  • 2 Economists are walking down country side
  • My grandma told me the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  • You really got to hand it to short people.
  • Someone stole my car, but left an old cellphone behind.
  • Yesterday my internet was down. I noticed a woman sitting on my sofa
  • A man tells his doctor …
  • My doctor is amazed by my level of fitness.
  • A young mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
  • During the second World War, two allied soldiers were captured for interrogation by the Germans and sent to the prison camp Luft Stalag 13
  • “What’s your name, boy?” Cop asked the young man.
  • I watch porn for the same reason I watch travel documentaries
  • What do you call a promiscuous woman that is mathematically inclined
  • Met an emotionally unstable Polar bear attracted to both genders thst can live in both the North Pole and the South
  • They say that if you rest one of your balls on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the ball will eventually be sucked inside.
  • I recently had to see a proctologist because I was experiencing a sharp pain in my arse
  • A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.
  • Karma is a weird name…
  • Prison break..
  • Two girls are in the farm field stealing carrots…
  • There’s a Soulja Boy concert on PBS tonight.
  • Let’s go to the zoo
  • A Geordie was so devoted to his pet dog that when it died
  • A virgin young man meets a priest
  • An old lady goes to the dentist. Sits down, drops panties, and lifts legs…
  • A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.
  • A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him!
  • A woman in a supermarket watched as a grandfather struggled to control his badly behaved grandson.
  • A teenage boy was playing in his room on his computer when his grandfather came in and sat on the bed.
  • As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the pain! I won’t make it! Don’t! CAN’T! WON’T!!”
  • A grandmother takes her grandson to the beach
  • My non-binary friend is pregnant and they’re having a gender reveal party next week.
  • A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”
  • A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight.
  • Beethoven died and they buried him near the church.
  • My wife says I never listen
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
  • A man gets arrested by a lady cop …
  • What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
  • I’ve decided to write a book about all of the things I should’ve done in my life.
  • Dad shocked
  • Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!
  • My ex was so greedy man it was unbelievable! You give her an inch
  • [Long Joke] A dead body was found in the lake.
  • A 7-year-old & 4-year-old are in their bedroom.
  • A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks!

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme