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Blind man and blondes

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

(My son told me this joke. It’s a bit long)

A blind man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. He and the bartender have a nice, but brief, conversation. Wanting to improve the mood, the blind man offers to share a joke.

Sure, says the female bartender.

So, it’s about this blonde chick, he begins.

Whoah there mister, she interrupts. Just so you know, I’m a blonde and I was a bouncer before taking over bartending.

Not only that, but to your left is another blonde. She’s a former Marine. And on your right, well, she’s blonde too and is an MMA fighter.

Behind you stand two more blondes. One was a boxer and the other a retired Army officer. So, see, you’re surrounded by five, tough, blonde females. Are you sure you want to tell this joke?

The man contemplates for a moment, then replies, no, I guess not. Not if I’m going to have to explain the joke five times.

Joke Poo: Deaf Dude and Sound Engineers

A deaf dude walks into a recording studio. He sits down and asks for the head sound engineer. He and the engineer have a nice, but brief, conversation using sign language. Wanting to break the ice, the deaf dude offers to share a joke.

"Sure," signs the female sound engineer.

"So, it’s about this guy with tinnitus," he begins.

"Whoah there mister," she interrupts. "Just so you know, I have tinnitus, and I mixed audio for death metal bands for ten years before becoming the head engineer."

"Not only that, but to your left is another engineer. He’s a mastering engineer who can hear frequencies dogs can’t even detect. And on your right, well, she’s a golden-ear who designs high-end headphones."

"Behind you stand two more engineers. One’s a noise cancellation specialist and the other runs sound for orchestral recordings. So, see, you’re surrounded by five, audiophile sound engineers with highly sensitive hearing. Are you sure you want to tell this joke?"

The man contemplates for a moment, then replies, "no, I guess not. Not if I’m going to have to shout the punchline."

Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gold we can mine.

Deconstruction:

  • Premise: A blind man unknowingly sets himself up for potential conflict by starting a joke that might be offensive to blondes, while being surrounded by several tough blondes.
  • Target: Blonde stereotypes, assumptions about their intelligence/comprehension, and the potential awkwardness/danger of telling offensive jokes in the wrong company.
  • Punchline: The blind man cleverly avoids conflict not through apology or backing down, but through a pragmatic calculation: it’s too much effort to explain the joke multiple times. This twists the expectation – we anticipate an apology or retraction due to fear, but instead get a lazy-intellectual reason.
  • Humor Source: Irony, situational comedy, subversion of expectations, the stereotype of blondes being not so smart and the unexpected wit of the blind man.

Key Elements for Enrichment:

  • Blindness: The central disability creates initial innocence, heightening the situational irony.
  • Blonde Stereotype: The joke relies on the age-old trope of blondes being ditzy or slow.
  • Tough Women: The bartender and other blondes shatter the stereotype with their physical prowess and military/fighting backgrounds.
  • Explanation Difficulty: The punchline hinges on the perceived effort of explaining a joke.
  • The Joke itself: The unrevealed joke acts as a hidden variable, we can create the perfect blonde joke ourselves, or not!

Comedic Enrichment Attempt #1 (Witty Observation):

Did you know? The average human tells about 13 jokes a day. However, a blind man telling a blonde joke in a bar full of combative blondes only tells about 0.000001 jokes, as he’s immediately faced with the problem of having to explain the joke. This is known as the "Blonde Barometer" – a phenomenon where joke-telling frequency inversely correlates with the potential for physical altercation.

Comedic Enrichment Attempt #2 (New Joke):

A blind man walks into a library. He asks the librarian, "Do you have any books about paranoia?"

The librarian whispers, "They’re right behind you!"

Comedic Enrichment Attempt #3 (Blonde Joke itself, playing on self-awareness):

Okay, so a blonde is driving down the road and gets pulled over by a cop.

"Ma’am," the cop says, "did you know your blinker is on?"

The blonde replies, "Oh great! Now what? Where’s it going!?"

(Why this works): This specific example leverages the common "blondes are dumb" stereotype and offers it in-joke form, subverting and reinforcing the stereotype simultaneously.

How the new items Enhance the original:

  • Observation: Adds a layer of mock-scientific analysis and absurdity to the situation, turning a specific scenario into a universal principle.
  • New Joke: Provides another punchline focusing on blindness itself rather than blonde stereotypes.
  • Blonde Joke: By providing a joke, the blind man’s reticence becomes more understandable and we get a self-aware joke that (hopefully) makes people laugh.

The original joke’s cleverness lies in its unexpected twist. By playing with the same elements – blindness, blonde stereotypes, potential danger – we can create new comedic expressions that either enhance the original or stand alone as amusing additions.

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