My wife will sell my guitar collection, not for what each one is worth, but for what I told her I paid for each.
Okay, here’s a new joke riffing on the original, titled "Joke Poo":
Joke Poo:
My biggest fear when I die is my dog will finally reveal to everyone how many times I’ve blamed him for my farts. And the worst part? He’ll probably include detailed olfactory descriptions.
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements:
- Core Concern: The fear of a spouse undervaluing a collection after death.
- Specific Asset: Guitars.
- Underlying Tension: The discrepancy between the actual worth of the guitars and the fictional price the husband reported to his wife (likely a lower, more palatable number).
- Humor Source: The joke derives from the common (and relatable) scenario of hiding expenses from a partner, and the irony of this white lie backfiring posthumously. There’s also a bit of ‘men and their hobbies’ stereotyping involved.
Comedic Enrichment and New Humor:
Here are a few options, playing on different aspects of the original joke:
1. Witty Observation:
It’s ironic, isn’t it? We spend our lives carefully curating our collections, meticulously researching their history and value. Then, we inflate the gas mileage on our cars so our spouses don’t think we’re driving a fire-breathing dragon. Death really is the ultimate tax audit.
2. ‘Did You Know’ Expansion:
Did you know that the most expensive guitar ever sold was Kurt Cobain’s 1969 Martin D-18E, which went for over $6 million? The joke’s on him, though. Courtney Love probably told him it cost $500 at a garage sale. And then there’s the time George Harrison bought a strat at Gruhn guitars and hid it from Pattie Boyd in a road case for six months
3. Alternate Joke Structure (Setup/Punchline):
My will stipulates that upon my death, my wife must consult with a qualified vintage guitar appraiser before she starts watching those "How to Declutter Your Life" videos on YouTube. I’m not worried about her grief; I’m worried about a ’63 Strat going for the price of a used microwave.
4. Expanding on the ‘Lie’ Aspect:
My therapist says I have a trust issue. I disagree. I trust my wife implicitly. I just don’t trust her to accurately assess the tonal nuances of a pre-CBS Fender. That’s why I’ve left her a detailed spreadsheet… written in code. Think of it as the Da Vinci Code, but with fretboard diagrams.
Why these work:
- They build upon the existing humor, rather than replacing it.
- They leverage the audience’s presumed knowledge of guitar collecting and marital dynamics.
- They introduce relatable elements (decluttering, YouTube, trust issues) that add layers of comedic resonance.
I tried to maintain the original’s lighthearted, slightly self-deprecating tone.