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A Texan on vacation in Ireland

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

was invited by his Irish friend over to his farm.

Texan: “How big is your farm?”

Irishman: “About 25 acres”

Texan: “My ranch is just a little bigger” he says tongue in cheek. “In fact it takes me about 5 hours to drive from one end to the other”

Irishman: “I used to have a truck like that”.

Joke Poo: A Martian on Earth

A Martian, visiting Earth for the first time, was being shown around a farm by a kindly old farmer.

Martian: "How much water do you need to irrigate this field?"

Farmer: "About 5,000 gallons."

Martian: "Back on Mars, we have canals that are just a little more efficient." He winked with an antenna twitch. "In fact, it takes us five Earth-weeks to evaporate them dry."

Farmer: "I used to have a summer just like that."

Okay, let’s break down this joke.

Elements:

  • Characters: A Texan (stereotypically boastful about size) and an Irishman (presumably laconic and witty).
  • Premise: Texan boasts about the immense size of his ranch.
  • Punchline: The Irishman’s response implies the Texan’s truck is slow, not that his ranch is large. The humor comes from the misunderstanding of the scale and the redirection of the boast. It’s a clever twist.

Interesting Facts/Associations we can mine:

  • Texas Size: Texas is indeed HUGE. It’s the second-largest state in the U.S., covering roughly 268,820 square miles.
  • Irish Farms: Irish farms are, on average, much smaller than Texan ranches. 25 acres might be a decent-sized farm in Ireland.
  • Speed of Sound: The speed of sound depends on the medium through which it travels.
  • Irish Wit: Irish humor often relies on understatement, deadpan delivery, and a playful taking-down of arrogance.

New Humorous Take:

Title: Texan-Irish Physics

Set-up: A Texan is visiting his friend Seamus’ pub in County Clare.

Texan: (Sipping his Guinness) "Seamus, you know, back in Texas, my ranch is so big, the echo of my ‘Yeehaw!’ takes a full three minutes to come back!"

Seamus: (Wiping down the bar) "That’s not so impressive, back on my farm, I once farted and the bang still hasn’t got back to me yet!"

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