He got his own hair cut, then told the barber, “You cut the kid’s hair—I’m just going to buy some vegetables.”
The barber gave the child a haircut, but Little Johnny never returned.
After a long wait, the barber asked the kid, “Where did your older brother go?”
The child replied, “He wasn’t my older brother.”
Barber: “Then who was he?”
Child: “I don’t know. I was just playing in the street when he came and said,
‘Come, I’ll get you a free haircut.’”
Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" take on the Little Johnny barber shop joke, titled "The Parrot’s Prank":
Joke Poo: The Parrot’s Prank
A gruff sea captain brought a brightly colored parrot to a busy pet store.
He demanded the groomer give the parrot a full makeover. He then told the groomer, "You prettify this bird, I’m just going to grab some ship supplies."
The groomer painstakingly trimmed the parrot’s feathers, filed its beak, and even gave it a tiny manicure. The captain never came back.
After hours, the groomer, increasingly annoyed, asked the parrot, "Where did your captain go?"
The parrot squawked, "He wasn’t my captain!"
Groomer: "Then who was he?"
Parrot: "I don’t know! I was just squawking in the rigging when he yelled, ‘Come on, Polly! Free pampering!’"
Alright, let’s dissect this little stinker of a joke and then inject some humorous enlightenment into it!
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A child is lured into a barber shop by a seemingly kind boy named Johnny, who vanishes after his own haircut, leaving the barber stuck with the bill.
- Key Elements:
- Little Johnny’s Deception: The core humor is in the audacious, manipulative nature of Johnny and his elaborate con.
- The Barber’s Naivete: The barber readily believes Johnny’s story.
- The Child’s Innocence/Obliviousness: The child’s nonchalant reveal at the end.
- Implied Economic Impact: The barber is out the cost of a haircut.
Humorous Enrichment:
The real tragedy isn’t just the stolen haircut, it’s that barber’s assumptions about family dynamics! You know, statistically speaking, approximately 4% of children in the US aren’t raised by their biological parents. That barber’s internal algorithm was way off. Here’s a joke based on that:
New Joke:
A barber, fresh off the "Little Johnny" debacle, sees another kid walk in with an adult. The adult gets a cut, then says, "Cut the kid’s hair too. I’m just popping over to the notary to get a document notarized."
Haunted by the past, the barber nervously trims the child’s hair. After a tense 20 minutes, the adult returns. Relieved, the barber asks, "So, are you his father?"
The adult replies, "Nope. I’m his software engineer."
Confused, the barber asks, "Software Engineer?"
The adult retorts, "Yeah, he’s the new Google kid. They give him money and a haircut to think of new ideas. Plus, there’s a notary next door that has the best pastries in town."