I said as I arrived back from work. “Some guy lost a $100 bill in Home Depot.”
“Were you helping him look for it?” asked my wife.
“No, I was standing on it.”
Joke Poo: Lost & Found
"Terribly sorry for the delay returning to the spaceship," I announced, re-entering the cockpit. "Some Zorgonian accidentally dropped a Galactic Credit Chip on Planet Xylar."
"Were you assisting him in its recovery?" inquired the Captain, eyebrows raised.
"Negative," I replied, adjusting my anti-gravity boots. "I was using it to prop open a particularly stubborn interdimensional portal."
Alright, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- Late Arrival/Excuse: The setup hinges on the expected tension of being late and offering an explanation.
- Home Depot: The setting is crucial. Home Depot, being a large, somewhat chaotic store, sets the stage for a plausible scenario.
- Lost Money: $100 bill is the lure. Lost money is always relatable and creates immediate interest.
- Misdirection/Subversion: The wife’s question is the natural response – assuming helpfulness. The punchline flips that expectation to reveal self-interest and laziness.
- Irony: The irony lies in prioritizing personal gain (standing on the money) over altruism (helping find it).
Comedic Impact:
The humor derives from the relatable desire to find free money, combined with the unexpected level of unapologetic opportunism displayed by the narrator. It’s a funny subversion of social expectations.
Enrichment Attempt: "Home Depot Did You Know?"
Headline: Home Depot Lost & Found: More Than Just Missing Hammers
The "Did You Know?" Piece:
"Did you know that Home Depot, in addition to accidentally purchased power tools and rogue garden gnomes, handles more lost money claims annually than the entire island nation of Nauru? Apparently, folks get so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of discount lumber and grout choices, they forget about the Jackson in their pocket. It’s estimated that roughly 4% of all lost cash is never claimed, creating a lucrative, if ethically dubious, opportunity for Home Depot security guards… or anyone quick enough to "stand on it"."
New Joke inspired by the original and Enrichment:
"I was complaining to my Home Depot cashier about how expensive drywall screws are. She leaned in conspiratorially and said, ‘You know, statistically, you’re more likely to find a $100 bill buried under a pile of pressure-treated 4x4s than actually get a good deal on these screws.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Well, that explains why I’m wearing so many splinters.’"