The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck”
Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
Joke Poo: The IT Support Call
An elderly woman was on the phone with IT support, clearly frustrated.
"You used to connect me to the internet instantly when I first got this computer," she complained.
The support tech, trying to be patient, remotely accessed her machine and clicked a few things. A moment later, he said, "Okay, you should be connected now."
A few minutes later, she was back on the phone. "Then you used to help me find my emails!" she wailed.
Sighing, the tech re-accessed her computer, opened her email client, and guided her to her inbox. "There you go, ma’am."
Five minutes later, the phone rang again. "Then you used to fix my printer!" she cried, her voice cracking.
Exasperated, the tech slammed his headset down and stood up abruptly.
"Where are you going?" his supervisor asked.
"To get my driver CD!"
Alright, let’s break down this joke and see if we can extract some comedic gold.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A long-married couple experiencing a disconnect between the wife’s desire for romance and the husband’s weariness.
- Setup: The wife reminisces about the early days of their relationship, triggering a series of progressively more demanding requests.
- Punchline: The husband’s sarcastic and age-related explanation for his inaction – he needs to retrieve his dentures to fulfill her request to be bitten on the neck.
- Humor Source:
- Irony: The contrast between the passionate past and the apathetic present.
- Physical Comedy (Implied): The image of an elderly man fumbling for his dentures.
- Age-Related Humor: The joke hinges on the husband’s physical limitations due to aging.
- Relationship Dynamics: The familiar trope of the bored husband vs. the longing wife.
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s leverage some facts about teeth and aging to craft some related humor:
Did You Know? Fact:
- The average person produces enough saliva in their lifetime to fill two swimming pools.
New Joke Idea:
An older woman, feeling nostalgic, whispered to her husband, "Remember how we used to spend hours kissing?"
The husband replied, "I do! It’s just… my dentist tells me I’m producing less saliva these days. Can’t risk dry mouth. You know, gotta stay hydrated."
Witty Observation:
"Romance after 60 is a delicate dance. You’re trying to rekindle a fire while simultaneously remembering where you put the fire extinguisher… and your reading glasses to see the instructions."
Another Joke Idea:
A senior citizen is at the dentist:
"How much will it cost to remove all my teeth?" he asks the dentist.
"8,000 dollars" says the dentist.
"8,000!?" exclaims the man, "But I only want to remove the one that hurts!"
The dentist says, "Well if I removed all the teeth EXCEPT the one that hurts, what would I attach your dentures to?"
Explanation of the humor:
This takes the dentures theme to another (slightly darker) place by playing on the cost of dental procedures and suggesting that the man could somehow remove his other teeth, and leave the painful one to be used to attach his dentures to. It creates a ludicrous scenario.
I chose these approaches to amplify the joke’s core elements: age-related limitations, the humor of bodily functions, and the contrast between youthful passion and the realities of aging. The "Did You Know?" fact adds an unexpected, somewhat gross, element to the mix, playing on the physical changes that come with age. The new jokes and observations offer a similar blend of relatable relationship dynamics and the often-uncomfortable truths about getting older.