Though he was a rather stern disciplinarian and a bit of an old fuddy-duddy, he was not primarily concerned with issues of modesty and innocence.
Rather, for some reason, when applying it in the bathroom they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm.
When they gathered at 2pm, they found the principal and the school janitor waiting for them. The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the janitor to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt that the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was, and therefore he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The janitor then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick. That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
Joke Poo: The Bird Bath Incident
A meticulous park superintendent had an ongoing issue with the local pigeons. They loved to gather around the newly installed, pristine bird bath, but their droppings were constantly fouling the water and the surrounding area. He wasn’t concerned with the pigeons’ hygiene; he simply couldn’t stand the unsightly mess.
Before the problem got completely out of control, he devised a plan. He gathered all the local birdwatchers and nature enthusiasts who frequented the park and told them he needed their help to understand something about the pigeons’ habits. He scheduled a meeting for them at 6 am by the bird bath.
When they arrived, they found the superintendent and the park’s oldest gardener waiting for them. The superintendent explained that the bird droppings were becoming a significant cleaning burden. He felt the birdwatchers didn’t fully appreciate the scale of the problem, and he wanted them to witness just how challenging it was to clean.
The gardener then demonstrated. He pulled out a large bucket from behind a bush. He then dipped a sponge in the bird bath, moved to a nearby statue covered in pigeon droppings, and proceeded to scrub. That was the last time the birdwatchers drank coffee from the bird bath.
Okay, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- The Setup: A stern, old-fashioned principal faces a modern (for the time, anyway) problem of lipstick-wearing girls leaving prints on the bathroom mirror.
- The Misdirection: We’re led to believe the principal’s concern is modesty or decorum.
- The Absurd Solution: The janitor cleans the mirror with a toilet brush after dipping it in the toilet, which is shocking and effective.
- The Humor: The humor comes from the unexpected and disgusting solution being used to solve what seemed like a trivial problem. It’s a clash of sensibilities and a practical, albeit horrifying, approach to teenage behavior. The contrast between the principal’s initial, seemingly old-fashioned stance and the janitor’s crude method is key.
Now, let’s use these elements to create some related humor:
1. A New Joke:
A tech company, plagued by employees leaving sticky notes with passive-aggressive comments all over the office whiteboard, hired a "Chief Solutions Officer" to address the issue. After weeks of brainstorming, the CSO announced the solution: "Every time a sticky note is found, its author must publicly recite Shakespeare – from memory – while wearing a full rubber chicken suit."
The sticky notes disappeared immediately. When asked about the effectiveness, the CSO replied, "Sometimes, the best solutions are the ones that make people weigh the cost of their actions… against the cost of existential humiliation."
Analysis of New Joke:
- Mirrors the principal’s "over the top" solution to a relatively small problem.
- The rubber chicken suit replaces the toilet bowl, creating a similarly absurd, but modern twist.
- The Shakespeare element adds an intellectual, yet ridiculous, layer.
2. A Witty Observation:
The original joke highlights a universal truth: problems often seem smaller from a distance. For the principal, the lipstick was a minor annoyance. For the janitor, who had to clean it, it was a legitimate chore. But the perception of the girls was what mattered most, and for the principal, all that mattered to them was disgust.
3. A "Did You Know?" Amusing Tidbit (Building on the Toilet Element):
Did you know that the modern toilet brush, while often associated with cleaning, is more accurately a "spreading tool"? Studies have shown that it can actually transfer bacteria around the bowl. The original joke’s principal unknowingly weaponized this unsavory truth to create a truly unforgettable (and likely effective) deterrent to future lipstick vandalism. So, next time you reach for the brush, remember, you’re not just cleaning, you’re potentially cultivating a tiny microbial ecosystem!
4. Another Joke:
A history professor was concerned about students consistently sleeping through his lectures on the Ottoman Empire. He tried everything: louder voice, flashier slides, even occasional interpretive dance. Nothing worked. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he brought in a trained hawk and, during the climax of the lecture about the Siege of Constantinople, released it into the room.
"I figured," he explained later, "a little bit of real historical terror would be more effective than any amount of caffeine."
Attendance improved dramatically, but the professor had to invest in some really strong coffee to counter the nightmares he started having.
In Summary:
The core of the original joke’s humor lies in the disproportionate response. The new pieces of humor are crafted to echo this element, utilizing unexpected, slightly disturbing solutions to relatively minor problems. The "did you know" plays with the perceived function versus actual functionality of the toilet brush, making a gross, but factual observation that enhances the original joke’s disgust factor.