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There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”, according to the British military. We’ve heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts” or with “Balls”.

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS – Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the “Guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the “Balls” to say: "You're next, Chubby."

Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.

Joke Poo: Code Review

There’s a critical distinction between "Confidence" and "Crazy" in the world of software development, especially when it comes to code reviews. We’ve all heard senior devs label code as either "Confident" or "Crazy."

Here’s the officially recognized difference, straight from the Journal of Half-Baked Software Engineering Practices:

CONFIDENCE – Is pushing a massive, undocumented refactor to production on a Friday afternoon, then nonchalantly explaining to the CTO in the subsequent outage meeting, "It was a necessary optimization; clearly the old system couldn’t handle the load."

CRAZY – Is pushing a massive, undocumented refactor to production on a Friday afternoon, then nonchalantly explaining to the CTO in the subsequent outage meeting, "I used ChatGPT to rewrite the entire core logic. It said it was more Pythonic."

Technically speaking, there is no difference in the eventual outcome; both will result in you being fired.

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor-enhancing elements.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: The joke starts with a "scientific" premise – a supposed medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls" according to the British military/medical community (British Medical Journal). This creates an expectation of something insightful or perhaps overly technical.
  • Punchline 1 (Guts): The first example uses the "Guts" definition, showcasing a man showing courage (or foolishness) in a potentially confrontational situation. The humor comes from the audacity of the question given the context.
  • Punchline 2 (Balls): The second example escalates the situation to extreme levels of disrespect and obliviousness. "Balls" is presented as reckless bravado bordering on suicidal idiocy. The humor is derived from the absurdity and the certainty of impending doom.
  • Final Twist: The final line, "Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal," is the ultimate punchline. It subverts the "scientific" setup and highlights the inherent danger of both approaches. It delivers the final blow with a dry, understated observation about the consequences of both behaviors.

Key Elements:

  • Contrast: The contrast between the serious setup (medical distinction) and the absurd examples is essential.
  • Exaggeration: The scenarios are greatly exaggerated for comedic effect.
  • Irony: The irony of "Guts" and "Balls" leading to the same "fatal" outcome is a key part of the humor.
  • Stereotype: The joke plays on stereotypes of male behavior, marriage, and domestic conflict.

Humor Enrichment:

Now, let’s add some humorous elements based on factual or interesting tidbits related to the joke’s components:

Option 1: The "Did You Know?" Route

"Did you know that the British Medical Journal (BMJ) does publish humorous articles and letters? While they’d never define ‘Guts’ and ‘Balls’ in this way, they have featured studies on the effectiveness of beer goggles, the prevalence of injuries related to Star Wars lightsaber battles, and the dangers of juggling chainsaws while riding a unicycle. So, while our joke is fictional, the BMJ’s commitment to a good laugh is very real… unlike the husband after the ‘You’re next, Chubby’ comment."

(This option leverages the BMJ’s actual (occasional) humor to add a layer of reality and further highlight the joke’s absurdity.)

Option 2: A New Joke Playing on the Theme

"What’s the psychological difference between ‘Guts’ and ‘Balls’ according to a therapist specializing in marital disputes?

  • ‘Guts’ is thinking about apologizing after the fight.
  • ‘Balls’ is confidently telling your therapist that she’s the one who needs help with her ‘negative attitude.’"

(This new joke keeps the "Guts" vs. "Balls" framework but changes the context to therapy, playing on the idea of misguided confidence in relationships.)

Option 3: Witty Observation

"It’s fascinating how the joke uses the language of medicine to describe something that is clearly a social phenomenon. It highlights how we often try to analyze and categorize complex human behavior using simplistic frameworks… just like trying to understand the intricacies of a marriage using only the terms ‘Guts’ and ‘Balls’. You’ll need a much bigger toolbox (and possibly a lawyer)."

(This observation elevates the joke by framing it within a broader commentary on human behavior and attempts at categorization. It hints at the limited scope of using simple definitions for complicated ideas.)

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