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Fake Poo

A Holy Man Visits the Desert

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

He gets to the outpost at the edge and is greeted by the shopkeeper.

"If you are going to the desert my friend you will need supplies, food and water, a tent for shelter at night."

The Holy Man holds up his hands and declines

"I shall not take your wares my friend, I shall instead pray to God, for God hears prayers and answers them."

He sets off into the desert and the sun beats down on him all day, and dries his skin and eyes. Eventually, another traveller finds him and stops him.

"It's a good job I found you, you're not far from death's door. Please, have some of my water and my food."

The Holy Man declines.

"I do not need your food or water, for I shall pray for these from God and he will provide. God hears prayers and answers them."

The Holy Man keeps going, his body now very weak and frail from all the heat, but now night is descending and the cold winds howl at his sides. In the distance, 2 wolves are watching the holy man struggle through the dunes.

"Finally," thinks one of the wolves "our prayers have been answered!"

Joke Poo: The Tech Support Call

A frazzled IT guy answers a phone call at the tech support desk.

"Helpdesk, this is Dave."

A panicked voice on the other end says, "If you are going to help me, you will need to remote into my computer, access the command line, and run a diagnostics report!"

Dave sighs. "I shall not do that, my friend. I shall instead Google the error code, for Google knows all and answers all."

He furiously Googles while the caller rambles about crashing servers and blue screens. Eventually, another frustrated user walks up to Dave’s desk.

"It’s a good job I found you. Everything’s down and management is breathing down our necks. Just copy and paste this script I found on Stack Overflow."

Dave waves him off. "I do not need your script, for I shall pray for a solution from Google, and it will provide. Google knows all and answers all."

Dave keeps scrolling through search results, his eyes glazed over. Now, a junior developer sidles up to the first frustrated user.

"Finally," thinks the developer. "The system is back up and running! I got the promotion!"

Okay, let’s analyze this joke:

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A holy man, overly reliant on faith, rejects practical assistance in the desert.
  • Premise: The holy man believes God will directly provide for his needs through prayer.
  • Punchline: The wolves see the dying holy man as a divine provision (food), ironically answering their prayers.
  • Humor Type: Dark humor, situational irony, and a commentary on the limits of faith without practical action.
  • Core Elements: Faith, prayer, desert survival, irony, wolves.

Enrichment through Facts and Witty Observations:

Now, let’s leverage some interesting tidbits to create something new.

Fact-Based Witty Observation:

"Did you know that desert ecosystems often thrive near oases, but rarely near overly optimistic religious figures? Turns out, a shared water source is more reliable than divine intervention, especially if the wolves are also praying for a meal."

Alternative Punchline (Playing on Wolf Behavior):

(Same setup)

…The wolves watch the holy man struggle. One wolf sighs, "Look, Gary, another faith-based initiative without a viable business plan. Remind me again why we don’t just hunt gazelle like everyone else?"

New Joke (Spin-Off):

A statistician, a physicist, and a theologian are lost in the desert. They’re all starving.

The statistician says, "Based on the available data and historical trends, there’s a 3.7% probability that we’ll find an oasis within the next 12 hours."

The physicist says, "I can calculate the optimal angle to maximize our chances of spotting a shimmering mirage, which might lead us to water."

The theologian closes his eyes and prays fervently. After a while, he opens them and says, "I’ve had a vision! God tells me we should continue walking in this direction."

After another hour of walking, they stumble upon a pack of wolves feasting on a discarded map.

The lead wolf looks up, wipes his mouth, and says, "Well, I guess God works in mysterious ways. We were praying for a new GPS."

Explanation of Choices:

  • The Fact-Based Observation grounds the humor in reality, highlighting the absurdity of relying solely on faith.
  • The Alternative Punchline uses a mundane, business-like tone for the wolves, creating a humorous contrast with the expected ferocity and also mocks how modern thinking clashes with religious devotion.
  • The New Joke expands on the theme by including different approaches to problem-solving and then adding another layer of humor by making the wolves the beneficiaries of "divine intervention" in a very practical (and cynical) way. The original joke is funny in its simplicity and directness but in this day and age such a joke is improved when it contains a meta layer of humour.

I tried to keep the dark humor but add a layer of wit or social commentary to elevate the humor of the core joke.

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