A FLORIDA Highway Patrol officer stops a man on a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. But, to play around with him the officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a 'nut case' on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me.'
I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
Credits: Julie Morgan on another social media.
Joke Poo: Just Agnes!
A stern-looking librarian stops a woman browsing the romance section, noticing she keeps rearranging the books and lingering too long. She asks the woman her name.
"Agnes," she replies.
"Agnes what?" the librarian asks, tapping her foot.
"Just Agnes," the woman responds.
The librarian, a stickler for rules, suspects she’s dealing with someone who’s trying to be difficult. To test her, she presses for a last name.
The woman explains that she had a last name, but lost it.
The librarian raises an eyebrow, thinking she has a "live one" on her hands. "Tell me, Agnes, how did you lose your last name?"
Agnes sighs. "It’s a long story, so stay with me…"
"I was born Agnes Miller. I loved to bake, so I entered every baking contest I could find. I won blue ribbons for pies, cakes, cookies… I was Agnes Miller, Baker Extraordinaire!"
"But then I discovered writing! I wrote poems, short stories, a novel… I became a published author, so I was Agnes Miller, Baker Extraordinaire, Author!"
"Then I fell in love…with a mime! He was silent, artistic, and utterly captivating! So I married him, and became Agnes Miller, Baker Extraordinaire, Author, Wife of Mime!"
"But then… he mimed an affair with my neighbor! The heartbreak… the scandal! I divorced him. I was back to Agnes Miller, Baker Extraordinaire, Author."
"The pain drove me to drink. I lost my business, got fired from my writing gig and ruined every bake sale I entered! So now… I’m Just Agnes."
The librarian stared blankly for a moment, then whispered, "What about the Miller? You can’t just lose the Miller!"
Agnes smiled sweetly. "Oh, honey. After all that sugar, flour, ink, heartbreak, mime shenanigans, and cheap gin… the Miller’s Gone."
Alright, let’s dissect this "Just Fred" joke.
Key Elements:
- The Setup: A traffic stop in Florida, a common scenario. The officer is initially lenient.
- The Character: A biker named Fred with an unusual story.
- The Progression: A long, escalating series of misfortunes that lead to the loss of a last name. Each element builds on the previous one.
- The Punchline: The unfortunate and humorous loss of "Johnson" due to VD.
- The Irony: The officer trying to be easygoing and ending up with a very elaborate, uncomfortable story.
Analysis:
The joke works because it plays on expectations. The officer anticipates a simple name, but gets a ridiculously complex backstory. The humor comes from the escalating absurdity of Fred’s life choices and their consequences. The final punchline is unexpected and crass, making it memorable. The joke’s length adds to the humor, the officer gets increasingly invested in a story he would much rather stop hearing, but feels compelled to keep listening because he asked in the first place.
Comedic Enrichment:
Given that the joke hinges on medical degrees, sexual health, and the Sunshine State, let’s spin off of those themes:
Joke:
Why did the Florida doctor get kicked out of the pool?
Because he kept trying to give everyone a "Johnson & Johnson" check-up… after losing his license.
OR, an interesting tidbit:
Did you know? Florida is notorious for both sunshine and sexually transmitted infections. In 2022, Florida had one of the highest rates of chlamydia in the US, according to the CDC. I guess "Just Fred" isn’t alone. Maybe he should have just stuck to the Harley.
The joke plays off the "Johnson" name again while incorporating the medical theme and the state of Florida as a setting. The "did you know" adds a layer of real-world irony to the original joke, highlighting the prevalence of STIs in the state where Fred’s misfortune occurred.