One snowy Sunday a rural vicar walks to church, only to find that the main road is completely blocked by snow and none of his parishioners have been able to get through. He waits around for a few minutes and is just about to leave when a farmer arrives on his tractor.
"Ah, you seem to be the only one who has been able to get here!" says the vicar.
"Oh, aye," says the farmer.
They wait around awkwardly to see if anyone else is going to turn up, but no one does.
"Ah, I'm not sure what you want to do," says the vicar, "After all, it's a bit odd preaching to just one person?"
The farmer thinks for a while, then says, "Well, when I go to feed my sheep and only one of them turns up, I still feed that one sheep."
The vicar smiles, goes up to the lectern, and starts the service.
The vicar recites the greeting, then the prayer of preparation, the confession and forgiveness, then they sing a hymn together. The vicar recites the collect, then a reading, then they sing a second hymn. There's another reading, the sermon, the creed, and a third hymn. The vicar prays the prayers of intercession, then gives communion the the farmer. Then there's another hymn and the vicar ends with a blessing.
Afterwards the vicar stands at the door of the church, as usual, to greet people leaving. When he shakes the farmer's hand he notices that the farmer looks a little grumpy.
"Umm… did you enjoy the service?" the vicar says.
"Well, let's put it this way," says the farmer, "you remember when I told you about my lone sheep turning up for food?"
The vicar nods anxiously.
"Well, I don't feed him the whole bloody hay bale."
Joke Poo: The Astronaut’s Meal
One desolate Martian Sunday, an astronaut walks to the research dome, only to find that the Martian dust storm has grounded all rovers and none of her colleagues have been able to get through. She waits around for a few minutes and is just about to head back to her habitat when a botanist arrives on his autonomous plant-watering drone.
"Ah, you seem to be the only one who has been able to make it!" says the astronaut.
"Yep," says the botanist, adjusting his oxygen tank.
They wait around awkwardly to see if anyone else is going to turn up, but no one does.
"Well, I’m not sure what to do," says the astronaut, "After all, it’s a bit odd giving a scientific presentation to just one person, isn’t it?"
The botanist thinks for a while, then says, "Well, when I go to water my hydroponic potatoes and only one of them sprouts, I still give that one potato water."
The astronaut nods, steps up to the holographic projector, and starts her presentation.
The astronaut begins with an overview of the mission’s goals, then the preliminary geological survey, a discussion of the soil composition, then a detailed analysis of the atmospheric pressure. Then they watch a pre-recorded video clip showcasing the rover’s navigation algorithms. There’s a breakdown of the spectral analysis data, a comparison with terrestrial rock formations, a discussion of potential water ice deposits, and a hypothesis about past microbial life. The astronaut answers a series of complex questions, then showcases several graphs depicting mineral concentration, and finishes with a summary of the research and projections for future study.
Afterwards the astronaut powers down the projector and walks over to the botanist. She notices he looks a little glazed over.
"Umm… did you find the presentation informative?" the astronaut asks tentatively.
"Well, let’s put it this way," says the botanist, "you remember when I told you about my lone potato sprout needing water?"
The astronaut nods anxiously.
"Well, I don’t use the entire station’s reserve of liquid fertilizer on it."
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then build something new.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A rural vicar expects a congregation but only a farmer arrives due to snow. The farmer’s analogy convinces the vicar to proceed.
- Setup: The extended, almost comical, description of the entire church service. This builds anticipation and highlights the vicar’s adherence to routine.
- Punchline: The farmer’s analogy is turned on its head. He only wanted a "portion" of the service, not the entire "hay bale."
- Humor: The humor lies in the juxtaposition of the farmer’s practical, efficient approach with the vicar’s adherence to religious ritual, even in the face of a single attendee. There’s also the classic rural vs. city (or in this case, rural vs. religious institution) comedic trope.
Key Elements to Leverage:
- The Farmer: A pragmatic, no-nonsense individual.
- The Vicar: A rule-follower, perhaps a little out-of-touch.
- The Sheep Analogy: The core of the joke and a source of potential extensions.
- Church Service Length: A point of contention and a comedic exaggeration.
Now, let’s create some comedic enrichment!
Option 1: A "Did You Know" (Playing on Church Service Length)
"Did you know that the length of sermons has been a source of complaint since the dawn of preaching? In the 17th century, some Puritan congregations used hourglasses to time their ministers, and woe betide the preacher who went overtime! One can only imagine the farmer in our joke would have immediately started emptying the sand if that church had a guest speaker…"
Option 2: A New Joke (Expanding the Analogy)
A software engineer walks into a confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I made a minor change to the database schema, and now the whole system is down."
The priest sighs. "My son, that sounds like quite a problem. Tell me, why did you make the change?"
"Well, it was just a small efficiency improvement. I thought, ‘Like the farmer feeding his sheep, I wouldn’t want to waste resources on unnecessary data fields.’"
The priest replies, "Ah, but did you consider that sometimes, the sheep needs a little extra wool to keep warm, even if it seems wasteful? Now go and set your system back to factory settings. And say ten Hail Marys… or maybe just one very, very long system restore."
Option 3: A Witty Observation
"The joke highlights a timeless truth: even the most devout can find themselves overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ritual. It’s the spiritual equivalent of going to a buffet when you’re only peckish – a lot of good intentions, but ultimately, you end up feeling stuffed and slightly regretful."
Why these work:
- Option 1 introduces a historical fact that amplifies the joke’s central theme of sermon length and audience tolerance.
- Option 2 takes the farmer’s analogy and applies it to a completely different context (software engineering) creating an unexpected and amusing parallel.
- Option 3 offers a broader, more insightful commentary on the human experience of rituals and routines, drawing out a relatable aspect from the original joke.
These options aim to enrich the original joke by adding interesting information, extending the humor, or offering a thoughtful observation that connects the specific scenario to broader human experiences.