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What are the three main signs of an impending stroke?

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Kleenex, hand-cream and pornography

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" of the stroke joke, keeping a similar structure but changing the key elements:

Joke Poo: The Archaeologist’s Nightmare

What are the three main signs of a recently looted Egyptian tomb?

… Empty sarcophagus, disturbed hieroglyphs, and one discarded Amazon shopping bag.

Alright, let’s break down this morbid little jest and see if we can wring some extra humor out of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: The joke poses a serious question about the warning signs of a stroke. This creates an expectation of a factual, medical answer.
  • Punchline: The punchline delivers a completely inappropriate and absurd answer – "Kleenex, hand-cream, and pornography."
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor relies on:
    • Incongruity: The vast mismatch between the medical question and the sexually suggestive/masturbatory punchline.
    • Dark Humor: The joke makes light of a serious health condition (a stroke).
    • Implied Connection: The punchline hints at the reason the person might have a stroke, but in a crude and humorous way.

Key Elements:

  1. Stroke: The serious medical event.
  2. Kleenex & Hand Cream: Items associated with… well, we all know.
  3. Pornography: The visual stimulus facilitating the… activities.

Humorous Enrichment:

Option 1: The ‘Did You Know?’ Approach

"You know, it’s ironic. They say stress is a risk factor for stroke. But did you know that researchers at Harvard found that moderate self-pleasure (and I emphasize MODERATE) is actually associated with a lower risk of prostate cancer in men? So, maybe a judicious application of Kleenex and hand cream could be a stroke preventative… as long as it doesn’t cause the stroke. Consult your doctor. This is terrible medical advice."

Option 2: New Joke Variant

"Why did the doctor tell his patient to only watch black and white movies after his stroke?
Because anything with too much color, combined with Kleenex and hand cream, could trigger a second one!"

Option 3: Observational Witty Anecdote

"I saw an ad for stroke awareness today, and I swear, the color palette they used on the brochure, coupled with the way they were promoting stress relief, made me think I’d accidentally stumbled onto a very niche hand cream and Kleenex advertisement with a side of adult film."

The point is to play on the existing joke’s themes of medical seriousness, sexual innuendo, and the incongruous juxtaposition of the two. We can do this by weaving in real facts, creating related jokes, or simply pointing out the absurdity of the initial joke’s elements in a new, unexpected context.

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