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My sex life with my ex was like the Mcdonalds Ice Cream Machine…

Posted on May 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

No matter how excited you were to get a treat, no matter how much he advertised…It was always out of order and never worked.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," titled appropriately:

Joke Poo: My Social Battery is Like a Public Toilet

My social battery is like a public toilet…

No matter how desperately you need it after a long journey, and no matter how brightly lit the sign might be… It’s usually disgusting, probably overflowing, and you just know you’re going to regret going in there.

Alright, let’s break down this joke.

Core Elements:

  • Premise: A comparison between a frustrating sex life and the notoriously unreliable McDonald’s ice cream machine.
  • Target: Failed intimacy, broken promises, and disappointment.
  • Humor Mechanism: Analogy (comparing two seemingly disparate things to reveal a shared characteristic – in this case, dysfunctionality). Relatability – many people have experienced the disappointment of a broken McDonald’s ice cream machine. Self-deprecating (likely aimed at the speaker’s past self or relationship).

Factual/Interesting Tidbits Related to the Elements:

  • McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine Woes: The machines are often out of service due to a complicated self-cleaning process that can take hours, and often employees don’t have the time or training to properly troubleshoot issues. There’s even a class-action lawsuit related to the machine’s reliability.
  • Relationship Dynamics: Advertising and excitement are common aspects of the initial stages of a relationship, but the true compatibility and functionality are proven over time.

New Piece of Humor – Witty Observation:

"You know, McDonald’s should take a page from the book of exes. They’re experts at managing expectations. ‘We’re lovin’ it!’ quickly translates to ‘Sorry, this feature is temporarily unavailable due to unforeseen circumstances. Please try again…never.’"

Explanation of the New Humor:

This builds on the original joke by:

  • Expanding on the McDonald’s Brand: We use their iconic slogan and then subvert it.
  • Drawing a Parallel: It further highlights the similarity between a frustrating restaurant experience and a disappointing relationship, specifically the way promises are made and then broken.
  • Adding a Cynical Twist: The "never" at the end provides a punchline that emphasizes the feeling of perpetual disappointment that both the broken ice cream machine and the bad relationship inspire.

Bonus Joke:

Why did the relationship go bankrupt? Because it was running on a McDonald’s ice cream machine’s business model – constantly breaking down, costing more to maintain than it was worth, and ultimately offering very little satisfaction.

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