[Note: this joke is about a Jewish guy because I'm Jewish myself, but you can just about stick someone of any religion here and adapt it slightly].
An observant Jew is washed up on a desert island when the ship he was on sinks.
After many, many years, he is spotted by another ship and is rescued.
As his rescuers come ashore, they notice with astonishment that the shipwrecked guy has built several quite decent-looking buildings out of mud and wood. They ask what they are, and the guy shows them around.
"This is my home", he says, pointing to one house. I managed to put together a rudimentary oven to cook my food, a bed of soft moss and a roof of straw."
Then he points to a larger building. "That is my barn. I managed to domesticate several animals of the island, who live there and provide me with sustenance.
Then he points to an even larger, very ornate building, "That is my synagogue, where I prayed for years to the Holy One, Blessed Be He, to have me rescued. And as you can see, my prayers were crowned with success, since here you are."
The head of the rescue crew points to one last rather small, shabby-looking building, and asks "what is that building?"
"Oh that," says the Jew. "That's the other synagogue. I wouldn't be caught dead praying there."
Joke Poo: The Stranded SysAdmin
A grizzled sysadmin is marooned on a deserted island after a disastrous company retreat cruise.
After a decade of isolation, a passing yacht spots him and sends a rescue team ashore.
The rescuers are amazed to find the sysadmin has constructed three impressive structures from salvaged debris and native materials. They ask him about them, and he gladly explains.
“This,” he says, gesturing to a ramshackle hut patched with old circuit boards, “is my living quarters. Cramped, but keeps the rain out.”
He then points to a larger, more robust building made from stacked shipping containers. “That’s my server farm. Managed to rig up some solar panels and geothermal vents. Runs all my simulations and data backups.”
Finally, he indicates a massive, gleaming tower constructed from reflective aluminum and powered by a jury-rigged tidal generator. “That’s my AI supercomputer. I’ve been training it to solve world hunger and optimize global energy distribution.”
The captain of the rescue team stares in disbelief. “And what about that sad little pile of sticks and mud over there?” he asks, pointing to a barely standing structure.
The sysadmin sighs. “Oh, that? That’s the Windows Server. I only use it for solitaire.”
Alright, let’s dive into this shipwrecked Jew joke and see what comedic treasures we can unearth.
Joke Deconstruction:
- Core Concept: The joke hinges on the stereotypical (and self-deprecatingly humorous) portrayal of Jewish people as prone to infighting and harboring differing religious opinions, even in extreme isolation. It subverts the expectation that faith would be a unifying force in a desperate situation.
- Setup: The long isolation builds anticipation. The impressive self-sufficiency of the man establishes his resourcefulness and devoutness.
- Punchline: The final reveal of the second synagogue, which he refuses to pray in, is unexpected. The humor comes from the contrast between the man’s demonstrated faith and his commitment to religious divisiveness.
Key Elements:
- Shipwreck/Desert Island: Represents extreme isolation and reliance on one’s ingenuity.
- Observant Jew: Emphasizes devotion and adherence to religious principles.
- Self-Sufficiency: The creation of a home, barn, and synagogue demonstrates resourcefulness.
- Synagogue: Symbolizes faith, community, and a connection to God.
- The “Other” Synagogue: The crux of the joke, highlighting internal conflict and the importance of nuanced adherence.
Comedic Enrichment – New Material:
Option 1: A “Did You Know?” Observation
“Did you know that archeologists have uncovered evidence of ‘splitters’ dating all the way back to the Diaspora? In fact, one Talmudic debate recounts a scenario disturbingly similar to this joke… though, instead of a desert island, it involved a disagreement over the optimal placement of the shul’s (synagogue’s) mechitza (partition separating men and women). Apparently, one faction felt it blocked too much light, while the other believed it was perfectly positioned to obscure their view of Rebbetzin Rivka’s spectacular new wig.”
Why it works:
- Connects the joke to historical and cultural context, enhancing the humorous observation about internal Jewish conflict.
- Exaggerates the specificity of the disagreement (mechitza placement, Rebbetzin’s wig) to further amplify the absurdity.
Option 2: A Related Joke
Two shipwrecked Rabbis are stranded on a desert island for years. One day, they see a ship approaching the island. Overjoyed, they jump up and down, waving their arms, hoping to be rescued.
As the ship nears the island, one Rabbi whispers to the other, “Quick! Put on your hat and tallit (prayer shawl). We can’t let them see us praying without them!”
Why it works:
- Expands on the theme of Jewish identity and adherence to religious custom, even in extreme circumstances.
- Introduces an element of self-awareness and humor about the perception of religious practice.
Option 3: A Witty Observation
“It’s said that if you put two Jews on a desert island, you’ll get three opinions and two synagogues. But if you put three Jews on a desert island… prepare for the mechitza wars!”
Why it works:
- Leverages the existing stereotype for a concise and humorous take.
- Uses the mechitza reference to imply that internal debates can escalate into significant conflicts.
These additions aim to build upon the original joke, enhancing its humor by providing relatable context, clever observations, or further absurd scenarios that riff on the theme of Jewish identity and internal divisions.