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A gnome, a leprechaun, and a dwarf walk into a bar…

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender grinned as they each climbed up on the bar and formed a line. "What is this?" He asked. "Some kind of joke?"

The gnome jumped, slugged him on the chin, then moved to the back of the line.

"What the hell?" He complained.

Before he could back away, the leprechaun took him by the collar. "We be tired of yer wise crackin 'bout our height." The leprechaun slugged him, then moved to the back of the line.

The dwarf stepped up, rolling up his sleeves as the bartender backed into the liquor cabinets.

A concerned customer rushed to intervene. "Hey! Come on now, little guys. Is that really necessary? Shouldn't, you know? Pick on someone your own size?"

The dwarf turned to him, eyes narrowed. "Easy, laddie. Lest you want our our next visit to find your arse at the head of this here punch line."

Joke Poo: The Board Meeting

Four hedge fund managers walk into a sterile, modern conference room…

The CEO smiled thinly as they took their seats, the polished mahogany reflecting the fluorescent lights. “What’s this?” He asked, his voice dripping with corporate condescension. “Some kind of joke?”

The first manager, known for his aggressive short-selling tactics, slammed his fist on the table, making the water glasses jump, then moved to the back of the line of chairs.

“What the hell?” the CEO sputtered, adjusting his tie.

Before he could react, the second manager, notorious for insider trading, leaned in conspiratorially. “We’re a little tired of your ‘performance reviews’ based on subjective ‘metrics.'” He punched the CEO in the gut, then moved to the back of the line.

The third manager, famous for exploiting tax loopholes, stepped forward, cracking his knuckles as the CEO backed into the wall of stock tickers.

A nervous intern, clutching a notepad, piped up. “Um, gentlemen? Isn’t this a little… unprofessional? Maybe you should, you know, focus on generating value for our shareholders?”

The fourth manager, a master of leveraged buyouts, turned to him, his eyes cold and calculating. “Easy, kid. Unless you want our next restructuring to find your department at the head of this here chopping block.”

Alright, let’s break down this vertically challenged bar brawl joke!

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: Classic “walk into a bar” setup. The unusual combination of gnome, leprechaun, and dwarf immediately signals a joke.
  • Expectation: The bartender’s “joke” question sets up the expectation of a funny punchline about the three characters’ height.
  • Subversion: The subversion is that they are the joke-tellers, and their punchline is physical violence (slugging the bartender). This is unexpected, shifting from observational humor to dark, aggressive humor.
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor relies on:
    • Physical Comedy/Slapstick: The violence is inherently funny (albeit darkly).
    • Stereotype Play: Exploits stereotypes of gnomes (grumpy), leprechauns (belligerent), and dwarves (tough).
    • Threat of Escalation: The customer’s intervention is met with a threat, extending the humor and adding another layer of unexpected aggression.
    • Wordplay: The dwarf’s line “find your arse at the head of this here punch line” cleverly combines the physical threat with a meta-reference to the joke itself.

Key Elements for Enrichment:

  • Gnomes, Leprechauns, Dwarves: The mythological beings
  • Bartender/Bar: A common setting for jokes and social interaction.
  • Violence (Slugging): Unexpected and darkly humorous element.
  • Punchline Metaphor: The clever wordplay connecting physical threat to the joke’s structure.

Comedic Enrichment:

Here’s a “Did You Know?” with a humorous twist, playing on the size-related stereotypes and the bartender’s plight:

Did you know? The average height of a bartender is 5’10”, which puts them at eye-level with a surprising number of historical figures – Napoleon Bonaparte, for instance. This also puts them at eye level for a triple uppercut from a gnome, leprechaun, and dwarf on a particularly bad day. In fact, bar insurance policies now have a specific rider for “mythological misdemeanor assaults,” covering everything from flying pint glasses courtesy of disgruntled pixies to bar fights sparked by mispronounced “uisce beatha.” The premium? Let’s just say it’s more than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Explanation:

  • The “Did you know?” format provides a seemingly factual setup.
  • The height comparison with Napoleon adds a touch of historical absurdity.
  • The connection to the original joke is made by referencing the triple assault on the bartender.
  • The fictional “mythological misdemeanor assaults” insurance rider satirizes the joke’s premise, exaggerating the likelihood of such events and offering a commentary on the absurdity of the situation.
  • The punchline ties back to the leprechaun stereotype of the “pot of gold” while hinting that bartender insurance is more expensive.

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