This has definitely been told before probably on this sub even, but here's my rendition of it:
So there’s this group of 4 kids, they like exploring in the woods, and in the woods the oldest one of them hid a treasure chest but he never told the rest where. Several years later the oldest is super rich, but suddenly dies from unknown causes, and at his funeral on his will, the other 3 friends are given a map to his treasure, and this map takes them EVERYWHERE, the alps, the ocean, heck even the moon, but eventually they find his chest, and in it, is ANOTHER map. This map takes them around the world to a pyramid in Egypt where he stored all his wealth, and in the pyramid there were 3 doors, Joey went through the door with a fire symbol, Billy went through one with a water symbol, and Sally went through the one with a coffin symbol, and all of the rooms were filled with gems, gold, artifacts, and cold hard green cash, so they all became super rich. But suddenly, 3 years later, Joey dies in a wildfire, it’s very tragic, and Sally thinks to herself “huh, kind of ironic that Joey went through the fire door.” Then 3 more years later Billy also dies, this time in a flood, and then Sally realizes, if Joey died in a fire, Billy died in a flood, then somehow she’ll die from a coffin. So Sally becomes paranoid, she uses all of the money she got from the pyramid to build a bunker with security guards and layers and layers of defense. Then 3 years later she sees in the news, a huge evil living coffin is rampaging through the city! Nothing can stop it, it’s demolishing the military, and it’s heading right for her bunker! Then the coffin breaks inside, it’s destroying the walls, it’s eating the guards! It’s approaches Sally’s room, and she throws everything she can at it, tables, lamps, chairs, but nothing works, until, Sally grabs the NyQuil on her nightstand, throws it at the Coffin, and it stops moving, it stays still, and Sally is safe. Why? Because NyQuil keeps the coffin away.
Joke Poo: The Software Project
This has definitely been told before probably on this sub even, but here’s my rendition of it:
So there’s this group of 4 programmers, they love working on side projects, and the most senior one of them started a complex, revolutionary software project but he never told the rest where the code repository was. Several years later the senior dev is a tech lead at a FAANG company, but suddenly gets laid off, and at his farewell party, the other 3 engineers are given a cryptic link to the Github repo, and this link takes them EVERYWHERE, through nested folders, obscure documentation, and a spaghetti code architecture, but eventually they find the core algorithm, and in it, is ANOTHER cryptic link. This link takes them around the entire codebase to a main function in a microservice architecture where he stored all of his clever abstractions, and in the function there were 3 branches, Alice followed the branch with a GUI button, Bob followed the one with a CLI command, and Carol followed the one with a database query, and all of the branches were filled with optimizations, elegant solutions, and cutting-edge technology, so they all became super productive. But suddenly, 3 weeks later, Alice’s GUI is crashing, it’s very perplexing, and Carol thinks to herself “huh, kind of ironic that Alice went through the GUI button branch.” Then 3 more weeks later Bob’s CLI is throwing errors, this time memory leaks, and then Carol realizes, if Alice’s GUI crashes, Bob’s CLI has memory leaks, then somehow she’ll face a database outage. So Carol becomes paranoid, she doubles down on database indexing, writes complex SQL queries, and adds more caching layers. Then 3 weeks later she sees in the monitoring dashboard, a huge distributed denial of service attack is targeting her database! Nothing can stop it, it’s bypassing the firewalls, and it’s heading right for her database! Then the DDOS attack breaks inside, it’s flooding the server, it’s overloading the connections! It’s targeting Carol’s SQL queries, and she throws everything she can at it, better code, optimized queries, more servers, but nothing works, until, Carol changes the SQL command to ‘SELECT SLEEP(3600);’, throws it at the Server, and the database stops moving, it stays still, and Carol is safe. Why? Because SELECT SLEEP keeps the DDoS away.
Okay, let’s dissect this epic dad joke and then see what humorous offshoots we can cultivate.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: A ridiculously long setup for a simple pun.
- Humor Type: Pun, anti-humor (the punchline isn’t worth the setup), situational irony (the elaborate defenses are defeated by a simple over-the-counter remedy).
- Key Elements:
- The “treasure hunt” premise.
- The element of “death by ironic symbolism.”
- The long build-up.
- The pun involving “coffin” and “coughing”.
Humorous Enrichment:
Given the lengthy setup and the anti-climactic pun, we can play on the absurdity of the effort involved.
New Bit: A “Did You Know?” Style Observation
“Did you know that the average person spends approximately 3-5 minutes listening to a joke like the ‘NyQuil coffin’ one? That’s roughly the same amount of time it takes to brew a decent cup of coffee, contemplate the vastness of the universe, or regret a life choice. Choose wisely!”
New Joke (Playing on the “Over-Engineered Solution” aspect):
A software engineer was tasked with building Sally’s bunker to protect her from the rampaging coffin. He spent three months developing a complex AI-driven defense system with laser grids, sonic weaponry, and a neural network to predict the coffin’s movements. On the day the coffin arrived, it simply phased through all the defenses because the engineer forgot to handle the edge case where the coffin’s “rampaging” property was set to “true” instead of “false” in the database. Sally, exasperated, threw a bottle of NyQuil at it, and the coffin stopped. The engineer then filed a bug report: “Defense system not effective against objects sedated with antihistamines.”
Witty Observation (Focusing on the pun itself):
“That joke is proof that even the most elaborate expeditions can sometimes lead you to the most painfully obvious destination. It’s like spending years searching for the Fountain of Youth, only to find it’s just a cleverly disguised glass of prune juice.”