He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000,' the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir…There's no money in that account.'
''I know,' said the old man…'But let me tell you about my weekend.’
Joke Poo: The Martian Souvenir
A fuzzy, bright-green Martian walks into an intergalactic bazaar, hovering beside a sleek, chrome robot butler.
He tells the vendor, a wizened Arcturian with shimmering scales, that he’s looking for a special artifact for his robot. The Arcturian rummages through his dusty collection and pulls out a Martian Memory Crystal, priced at 500 Galactic Credits.
The Martian scoffs, “No, I need something more special.”
With a flourish, the Arcturian delves deeper and presents a perfectly preserved Martian Fossilized Footprint, gleaming under the dim bazaar lights. “This,” he booms, “is a genuine relic! Only 50,000 Galactic Credits!”
The robot butler’s circuits visibly surge with excitement, its chrome plating shimmering. The Martian, observing this, announces, “We’ll take it.” The Arcturian inquires about payment, to which the Martian replies, “By Telepathic Transfer. I know you need to verify it, so I’ll send the signal now. You can contact the Intergalactic Banking Collective tomorrow to confirm the transaction. I’ll collect the footprint then.”
The next morning, the Arcturian, radiating furious energy, telepathically contacts the Martian. “There’s no record of any transfer! Your mind is a void of financial activity!”
“I know,” says the Martian calmly. “But let me tell you about my robot’s reaction to seeing the footprint.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke:
Core Elements:
- Character Archetypes: The “old, wealthy-ish man with a young, attractive woman” is a classic setup, instantly implying a power dynamic and likely a transaction (love, money, etc.). The jeweler is the opportunistic businessman.
- Setup & Suspense: The jewelry shopping scene creates suspense. We anticipate a big purchase, and the rising price adds to the drama.
- The Twist: The payoff is the man’s flippant admission that the check was worthless and he merely used the ring’s allure to enhance his weekend. This is a subversion of expectations – he’s not trying to scam the jeweler for the ring, he is ‘scamming’ his girlfriend.
- Moral Ambiguity: The humor comes from the old man’s brazenness and the jeweler’s humiliation. We’re not necessarily rooting for the man, but the audacity is amusing. There’s also a cynical view of relationships and wealth at play.
Comedic Enrichment – Leveraging Facts & Observations:
To build on this, let’s focus on the check element, as it feels most ripe for augmentation.
Did you know: Back in 2016 the percentage of non-cash payments (credit, debit, and electronic) accounted for 80.1% of all payment transactions? Checks are an antiquated form of payment these days.
New Joke Idea:
A tech billionaire walks into a jewelry store with his influencer girlfriend. He wants a ring for her. The jeweler presents a $100,000 diamond.
“Nah,” says the billionaire, “I want something REALLY special.”
The jeweler pulls out a one-of-a-kind, ethically sourced, Martian meteorite ring, priced at $5 million. The girlfriend practically faints.
“We’ll take it,” the billionaire declares, snapping his fingers. “I’ll transfer the crypto now. Of course, it needs blockchain verification, which could take a day or two.”
Monday comes, and the jeweler calls the billionaire, sweating. “Sir, the transfer failed! Insufficient funds!”
The billionaire sighs, “Yeah, about that… Let me tell you about my weekend. I invested it all in Dogecoin before Elon went on SNL!”
Why it works:
- Modern Update: We replace the check with cryptocurrency, reflecting contemporary financial trends and anxieties (crypto volatility).
- Irony: The ethically sourced ring contrasts with the unethical (and possibly foolish) investment.
- Pop Culture Reference: The Elon Musk/Dogecoin reference adds relatability and topical humor.
Another Witty Observation (playing on the core joke):
The best thing about writing a bad check to impress someone? You get to experience true, unadulterated joy… right before you experience the wrath of the county sheriff!
Explanation:
This plays on the dark humor of the original joke while adding a more grounded, less-glamorous consequence.