They both stop, look a the fairy and decide to help her out. They go over to untie her.
Thankful for being rescued, the fairy offers them each three wishes.
Bear immediately shouts:
“I wish I was the only male bear in the area! That’s sure to get me some ladies”
Rabbit thinks for a moment, and says:
“I’ve always wanted to be rich, make me a millionaire!”
The bear, still thinking with his little head, says: “Actually, I wanna be the only male bear in the country, all the ladies will want a piece of me”
Rabbit doesn’t take long for his next wish, says he wants a brand new motorcycle, along with some gear.
The bear, horny bugger that he is, decides that for his last wish he might as well go big:
“What the hell, Make me the only male bear in the world!”
The fairy obliges, and asks the rabbit what he would like his last wish to be.
Rabbit puts on his gear, gets on his new Harley, smirks, and says:
“I wish the bear was gay”
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, riffing on the original bear and rabbit joke, titled “The Genie’s Regret”:
Joke Poo: The Genie’s Regret
Two cockroaches, Sheldon and Kevin, were scavenging for crumbs in a dilapidated apartment when they stumbled upon a dusty old lamp. Sheldon, being the more adventurous of the two, rubbed it with his antennae. Poof! A grumpy Genie appeared.
“Ugh, another summoning,” the Genie groaned. “Fine, each of you gets three wishes. But make them quick; I’m on my lunch break.”
Sheldon, always a bit insecure, blurted out, “I wish I was HUGE! Like, the biggest cockroach in the building!”
Kevin, ever the pragmatist, wished for a lifetime supply of the finest cheese crumbs.
The Genie snapped his fingers. “Done. Next!”
Sheldon, now feeling his newfound size, yelled, “I wish I was the biggest cockroach in the city!” He swelled even larger.
Kevin, enjoying his endless supply of Gouda, wished for a tiny, custom-made tuxedo to wear while he ate.
The Genie, clearly annoyed, granted both wishes with a flick of his wrist. “Last ones! Make ’em good, or I’m turning you both into dust bunnies!”
Sheldon, drunk with power, puffed out his chest (or, well, carapace) and shouted, “I wish I was the biggest cockroach in the WORLD!” He grew to an absurd size, dwarfing the apartment building.
The Genie, muttering about early retirement, granted the wish. “Alright, Kevin, your turn. What’s your final desire?”
Kevin adjusted his tiny bow tie, took a bite of Brie, and said calmly, “I wish Sheldon was a human girl.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then sprinkle in some comedic fairy dust.
Joke Analysis:
- Setup: A bear and a rabbit, archetypal predator and prey, are united by a common goal: rescuing a fairy. This creates unexpected camaraderie and a setup for wish fulfillment.
- Premise: The fairy grants them three wishes each. The bear’s wishes are consistently driven by libido and a desire to be the only male bear to attract all females. The rabbit’s wishes are material (money, motorcycle).
- Punchline: The rabbit uses his last wish to turn the bear gay, subverting the bear’s initial intentions and creating a humorous twist by suggesting the rabbit saw through the bear’s plan all along and chose to “get back at him.” The joke hinges on the unexpected use of the final wish, a play on the bear’s single-minded focus, and a hint of the rabbit’s cunning.
- Themes: Wish fulfillment gone awry, lust vs. practicality, predator/prey dynamics reversed, clever subversion of expectations.
Key Elements:
- Wishes: The core mechanic. Wishes are inherently comedic because they allow for exaggeration and the exploration of human desires.
- The Bear: Represents raw, primal urges and a rather dim-witted pursuit of pleasure.
- The Rabbit: Represents cunning, foresight, and perhaps a touch of mischievousness.
- Sexuality: The joke pivots on the bear’s exaggerated desire for female attention and the rabbit’s manipulation of this desire.
- Fairy: The magical element/ catalyst in the woods.
Comedic Enrichment:
Here are a few ways we can play off this joke:
1. A “Did You Know?” Inspired Observation:
“Did you know that the concept of granted wishes, like in this joke, goes way back? The earliest known written mention of wish-granting appears in the ancient Mesopotamian Epic of Gilgamesh. However, I doubt even Gilgamesh would have wished for that bear’s predicament. Turns out, the real magic isn’t the wish itself, but the sheer chaos that follows.”
2. Alternative Punchline (A bit darker):
“…Rabbit puts on his gear, gets on his new Harley, smirks, and says: ‘I wish I knew how to ride this damn thing.'”
- Reasoning: This punchline plays on the suddenness of the wish and the impracticality of wishing for things without knowing how to use them. It undermines the “triumph” of the rabbit’s earlier wishes, creating a more absurd ending.
3. An observation about Bears:
There are eight species of bears: Asiatic black bear, Brown bear, giant panda, North American black bear, polar bear, sloth bear, spectacled bear and sun bear. A brown bear can run at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour! At that speed, no gay-conversion therapy will help with being chased by a bear.
4. New, Related Joke:
A genie offers a lawyer three wishes. The lawyer thinks for a moment and says, “First, I want to be filthy rich!” POOF! He’s surrounded by dirt. The lawyer scowls, “That’s not what I meant! Second, I want all the women to want me!” POOF! He’s surrounded by elderly women. Furious, the lawyer shouts, “Fine! For my last wish, I wish I had the gift of perfect clarity in all my communications!” POOF! Suddenly, he understands why the genie’s lawyer advised against this whole thing.
- Reasoning: This joke uses the same structure of wish fulfillment gone wrong, but with a lawyer character and a focus on misinterpretations and legal loopholes. It extends the theme of unintended consequences in wish granting.
In Summary:
By dissecting the original joke, we can identify its key elements and then leverage facts, observations, or structural similarities to generate new humor that resonates with the original’s themes and comedic style. The possibilities are endless when you start playing with the magic of wishes (and the potential for them to backfire spectacularly!).